Friends with Benefits
by GhastlyRevenant
Summary: After a bad break up, Ayumi finds herself using Yoshiki as rebound. When he complies, Ayumi has an idea to extend their nights together with no commitment necessary.
1. Chapter 1

This story was written in the fashion of a role play. Some parts will be edited to flow better in the style of a story, but it will mostly remain in the same format. I wrote the part of Yoshiki and my friend is responsible for the part of Ayumi. The writing was done by us, but we do not own the franchise or characters included.

Side note: in this story, Ayumi is more based off of her game personality(you all know what we mean) rather than her sweeter manga counterpart, that we usually use.

* * *

Ayumi had been blind sided when her long-time boyfriend, Keitaro, suddenly broke up with her. It had been completely unexpected. Yes, they had fought a decent amount but that was expected from a relationship no longer in the starry-eyed phase. He said something about needing space, how they were in college and he never intended to get involved in a long-term relationship, and that he wanted to experience more before settling down. She replied by throwing her hair-dryer at his head. She was pissed off, feeling incredibly stupid and low for letting a boy get the best of her.

After calling Naomi and complaining about the entire thing, her long-time friend insisted they go out with the boys. Just a fun night with friends to get her mind off of Keitaro. She had been reluctant, but she admittedly missed the group. It still felt weird not seeing them everyday, even though she was a Sophomore attending University. The four had been through a lot together, though... so, it was natural she'd fall back to them when times were rough.

They had all met at a restaurant first where they got the opportunity to talk and catch up. Nothing new was really happening to any of them, but the familiarity was comforting. When the meal came to a close, it was suggested they really hit the city now. Again, she had been reluctant, since clubs were never easy for her to get into. Though, of course she had a fake I.D. Keitaro had actually gotten it for her... She went along with the idea, the overwhelming desire hitting her to just let loose.

They had failed getting into the first club, though the second was less strict and allowed them all in with no complaints. The loud dubstep music in her ears was hard to adjust to, but the atmosphere was instantly drawing her in. The entire club was very dark, except for flashing colored light moving in rhythm to the music. As Satoshi and Naomi went out to join the mass of people dancing, Ayumi felt a bit of a pang. She was used to having Keitaro around to fall back on with this type of stuff. Though, it wasn't like she was completely alone at the moment. She turned to Yoshiki, demanding he dance with her, since she was quick to notice from their high school days together that he very rarely, if ever, said no to her.

Out on the floor, her body moving in time with the music against Yoshiki's, she found her abdomen burning in a familiar desire. The only problem with this type of desire is that she no longer had an outlet for it. A vibrator hardly matched up to a man's touch, even if it did allow some type of relief. The heat developing was making her head feel fogged over. Yoshiki knew how to move, making her wonder if he knew how to move in another way. Her mind quickly took a turn and refused to exit such ideas. As a song began to fade into the moment of another song, Ayumi grabbed Yoshiki's jacket and tugged his ear to her mouth. She didn't want anyone else hearing this. "Kishinuma... let's head back to your place," she said with a light, seductive purr.

Yoshiki had been pretty shocked when Naomi called him earlier. Though they were all still close, the thing they went through binding them together for a long time to come, most were too busy to ever get into contact. Especially him, because he not only had college like the other three, he also had work that wasn't optional, if he didn't want to live on the streets that is. Then he was given the news that Ayumi's boyfriend had broken up with her. He had a very wide array of emotions... Anger, that he'd to that to her, sad at the potential depression she was going through, though most of all, he was happy. It felt wrong to be in high spirits after a breakup, but he couldn't help it. As it much as it frustrated him, he was still in love with her, still like a goddamn dog following her around in the hopes of a pat on the head. Even if they were hardly around one another anymore, he just couldn't let go, even if he really wanted to, which he did. The lingering affection made it impossible to move on to anyone new... So, despite him being in his twenties, he was still a virgin, both in the normal sense and to dating. It was enough to drive him crazy...

Anyways, the day had been overall good, and seemed to raise Ayumi's spirits. Being around everyone was pretty refreshing to him, too. He bet they all really needed this reunion, it was a shame they couldn't do it more. He had been a bit more reluctant to go to some club, but Ayumi eventually broke down and agreed, and he wanted more time to be with his missed friend... Well, more than that to him, but he doubted anyone else noticed. Except his inability to say no to her, which was illustrated in said club, he didn't give much, if any other, clues.

It was somewhere during the dance, or random moving, or whatever it could be called in a place like this, that he felt Ayumi grab his jacket. It was so random, it took his mind a moment to catch up with what she had really said into his ear, and... with that kind of voice... He was sort of worried he'd 'lose control' in public... What was this called? Rebound? At this point, he was pathetic and desperate, so he couldn't find any sort of power, or want, to say no. "Alright," he replied with a smirk. He had no reason to be quiet, since such an answer didn't really point to anything. Not that anyone around cared. Anyone who was here was probably headed in that direction anyways.

Given that small conversation, or rather, demand, after they were all worn out from the club, or it was just too late for the school-goers, they left. The group split into duos, which wasn't really that strange. Ayumi did live in the same vague direction as him, same with Naomi and Satoshi... Whether or not they had others plans was beyond him, nor did he really care. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if they had been on each other since the end of high school.

Once they were close enough to his apartment door, he took out his keys, so he'd be ready and could get in quick. It was probably sad to be this gung-ho for a rebound, since it probably wouldn't actually mean anything, but just the prospect that he'd get to be like this with Ayumi was exciting. He unlocked and opened the door, going in and shutting it after Ayumi walked in. He locked it back, going further in to toss his keys onto the table. He didn't plan to initiate anything, since he didn't know when she'd be fully ready. She had asked about it, so he thought to give her the courtesy to start this too. He moved to turn on the light, just to do something trivial to give Ayumi time to decide what she wanted to do, and when she wanted to do it.

Ayumi's mind was pretty much one-tracked when he agreed, since she knew he must have caught the underlying meaning of the demand. The walk back to his place felt like it was taking too long. Her mind flicking with images and ideas of what they could do together. The potential of this messing up their friendship didn't even cross her lust-filled mind. Yoshiki was attractive, familiar, and available. It just felt like the perfect way to fulfill this need because she would never be one for plucking a stranger from a bar to sleep with. Inside the apartment, she had to reflect on how nice it must be to have your own place. She lived in a dorm with a roommate, so obviously intimate things had been harder to find time for with Keitaro. Also, there was also the bothersome fact that the walls were paper-thin, so she was pretty sure the rooms near her's could hear everything. After all, she had heard them some nights as well. It was just an accepted fact of dorm living. Such details of privacy seemed to be less of an issue with this situation... it was nice. It assisted in getting her in the mood even more so. Inside she stripped herself of her jacket, folding it over a chair to grab later. She didn't want to waste any time talking or standing around, so she approached him and pressed her lips against his. It was hardly a moment before her tongue moved to try and gain access to Yoshiki's mouth.

Yoshiki didn't even have time to turn on the light, his journey towards the switch intercepted by Ayumi. They hadn't even really gotten into anything, just a simple kiss, and he was already loving it. Just the small contact with her soft lips threw his love-crazed heart for a loop. Then, of course, came the tongue, to which he eagerly allowed access, but he more or less dominated her mouth instead. At this point, with the intimacy slowly rising and his arms winding around her waist, his mind was going with instinctual movements. He had no idea of how good of a first time this would go, but he weirdly didn't worry over it. Not at this point, when his mind only wanted to focus on the taste he had lusted for for years upon years. And maybe letting his body do as it pleased was better than letting worry consume him. Everything probably went better, an overall better performance if he wasn't stressed over doing poorly.

Ayumi felt a tingling sensation travel through her limbs as he took control and dominance over the kiss. It was completely different than what it had felt like with Keitaro, though she wasn't really sure why. Maybe it was the lack of emotional attachment. Not that she didn't care about Yoshiki or anything, but he wasn't someone she would ever be interested in spending her life with. One hot, passionate night was something she needed, and he seemed fully capable of succeeding in giving her just that. Her one hand slid over his shoulder and trailed up his neck to move her fingers into his hair. Her other hand snaked between them and began to move against his length. She didn't want any misunderstanding to what her goal to this was, though she doubted even Yoshiki was that slow to not have caught on by now.

Yoshiki continued the kiss eagerly, but his patience for foreplay was wearing thin when her own hands came to life, more specifically the one that trailed south. He didn't even want to pause to make for the bedroom, instead just laying her against the couch, not even breaking the kiss. Any thoughts at all were eliminated at this point, just desperate lust remained. He had only ever gotten himself off, so to be making love with Ayumi was like a surreal bliss. The hand that had helped make the descent smooth got the urge to explore a little, starting at her waist to trail up under her shirt. He was absolutely enamored with being allowed to feel her soft and warm skin that he had only merely fantasized about before, so he was taking his time savoring this. After all, this was probably a one-time chance.

Ayumi laid back against the couch with no protest, hardly having the patience herself to break the action to go to the bedroom. Though, it would have probably been easier to be in a bed, she wasn't concerned too much where the sex would happen. She could manage to one-handed undo the button and push the zipper down, a movement she has done plenty of times before. She gasped sharply against his mouth as his hands moved under her shirt, though made the effort to keep the movements of their tongues unbroken. She moved her other hand from the back of his head downward to tug his pants and boxers down enough to expose his dick. Her hand grasped it with a firm grip, traveling up and down as she was honestly curious about his size. She could tell he was bigger than Keitaro, though the difference wasn't large enough to make her nervous about the fit or anything. She knew she could handle Yoshiki. Although, as his hands went over her body, for a moment she felt a bit concerned. There was a feeling... well, no, feeling wasn't the right word. It felt good... rather... there was a vibe she couldn't place coming off from his touch... She pushed the thought away, though, because she didn't want anything distracting her. It had felt like forever since she had been fucked.

Yoshiki didn't even want to take the time to remove anything from her that was unnecessary to. He'd like to see her like that, but with nothing running through his head but the actual sex, his body was too impatient for anything and his mind wasn't stopping for any detours. It felt like a flood of relief when his dick was freed from any fabric, though her grip and touching were making his ability to wait wear even thinner. It must have been non-existent at this point, as the hand that had spent a bit getting to know her upper body went south again, but further. His hand reached her thigh, almost to her knee, to sneak under her skirt and push it up. Again, he didn't have the time to remove the skirt any. Maybe if this was a multiple round thing, he would later, but for this first time, and possibly only time, his body felt like it was on some sort of timer. His fingers hooked on the waistband of her panties, pulling them down a considerable amount, definitely enough to actually start things. There was still the looming fact that he was a virgin, and probably had no real idea how this actually worked, but he felt he knew enough. All that he didn't know, his body seemed to instinctively. He moved to position himself against her, not action really happening yet but he was already really fired up. This... was Ayumi's pussy, and he had made her wet. The fact that he wasn't her first didn't do much to strike his mood down. All that mattered was that he was with her now, and that he'd make sure her ex couldn't even compare to him. His hand moved again once he knew he was aimed correctly, and took hold of her hip to help stabilize her. Since she had been through this before, he found it unnecessary to ask if she was ready, or take any sort of precaution. So, without further delay, he thrust into her, his mind blanking with the jolt of unfamiliar pleasure. This was amazing... and would only get better. Even though as he began to adopt a pace of grinding, and his mouth's actions were hindered by pants and such, he still attempted to start kissing and sucking at the skin of her neck. He was pretty sure that was a sensitive spot for some. Not that he could really think out his actions outside of his thrusts, as the mind-numbing pleasure of her constricting walls eliminated everything else. Though, through all of this loss of control, he still minded not to say anything about his deeper feelings. Even he could tell this was not that sort of thing, and absolutely knew for sure that if he said something like that, this whole mood would be killed. Well, he was pretty sure, and that was enough to keep it concealed out of fear. He didn't want to lose this chance with her, or the potential to do this sort of thing again.

Ayumi had no problem as his hands moved down her body to hike her skirt up and pull her panties down. She felt incredibly impatient; her body heated up from her spiked arousal. Her hands moved to his back, grabbing at the fabric of his jacket. Her legs were spread and somewhat wrapped around him as he positioned himself. There was something inherently exciting about having sex with someone new, since the sex with Keitaro towards the end had been... well, pretty bad. It had been too long since she has had a good release, and she could only hope Yoshiki would get her where she needed to go. As he moved into her, her back arched into him out of instinct. She could hardly keep a steady pace of her breathing as he began to grind against her insides with unforgivable friction. She gasped and mewled in pleasure, her volume only rising it as his mouth found her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access. Her neck had always been a good way to get her riled up, the feeling of tongue and teeth against the skin driving her deeper into heat. She was quick to pick up on his pace, her hips moving in time with his thrusts. Even as her mind was clouded with the feeling of him inside of her, she couldn't help but pick up on that vibe again. In his touch and movements... there was a sort of... affection? The thought was interrupted as a grind hit her g-spot, causing her to become a moaning mess. The pressure building up inside of her was wonderful, causing her to see fireworks behind her eyes.

Yoshiki got to a point where his mouth was useless. It felt way too good to push down groans, and the excitement put his heart, and lungs, in overdrive. The heat and pressure building inside was getting to the point where it was close to release, but since he still had the rival thing going with her ex to be better than him, he would hold off as long as he could until he got Ayumi to that point too. So he kept grinding in rhythm against her, keeping pace but sometimes pushing deeper inside. He never thought anything could feel this good... But now that he had a taste, he couldn't get enough. This was definitely as amazing as it was rumored to be, and he couldn't even imagine how amazing it would feel to finally let himself hit his breaking point.

Ayumi couldn't hold back noises as the warmth in her abdomen sent electricity to her brain. Though, as much as she lost control of the noises coming out of her mouth, she bit back any utterance of a name. Crying out at all for him just seemed too close to a point she didn't want to cross with him. Plus, calling out a last name during sex was sorta weird, and she definitely didn't want to cry out his first name. The last thing she wanted was him thinking this was the beginning of anything more intimate between them. Her hips suddenly stalled in movement as her body had all it could take and allowed her release. Her legs and hips quivered, her inner walls constricting around his length as juices spilled out of her, over his dick. She shuddered as the orgasm passed, her pants heavy at the long-waited release.

Yoshiki felt overwhelming relief and confidence when he felt her body stall and constrict. Heh, for a first time, this didn't turn out so bad. With another movement against her walls or so, he gave one final, deep thrust before reaching his climax. It was a lot better than when he got himself off. A hundred times better, and afterword, his mind no longer had the ability to think, and he was pretty dead tired all around. He pulled out of her, which was easily done thanks to her own orgasm. Since this wasn't a bed, he couldn't just collapse beside her, so he was stuck, tired and panting lightly. As he recovered a little, his mind wondered as to what would happen now. Was she in for multiple rounds, or, the more likely option, would she just leave? Even though it was painful, he expected nothing more to come from this, so it wouldn't be a surprise. It was better to accept and know the reality of the situation before getting your hopes up or go making dangerous assumptions.

Ayumi whimpered lightly at the final thrust and the feeling of him releasing inside of her. It was then she realized she probably should have made him wear a condom. Oh god, she was going to kill him if she just caught an STD or something. After all, she had no freakin' clue about the girls Yoshiki has slept with. It wasn't like he ever mentioned or brought around a girlfriend, so she assumed he probably just slept with girls he could find. The entire thing happened in such a whirlwind, she hadn't really considered the safety precautions she should have taken. It was a little awkward to ask, but at this point she needed to make sure she wasn't diseased to really just enjoy the satisfied hum pulsating through her. "Aah, you are clean, right?" she asked through heavy breaths.

Yoshiki was still a bit winded when he heard Ayumi ask something. Eh? Clean? It took him a moment to realize what she meant. Well, yeah, of course he was, but the proof to the answer was a little embarrassing. At least it was so harmful to a guy's pride, that no man would ever lie about it. They'd easier say the truth than something so pathetic... Well, pathetic in the minds of guys. "Yeah, don't worry... I, ah, haven't slept with anyone else, or shot up," he noted with a small, uneasy chuckle. Yep, he was undoubtedly clean, which he guessed was a good thing in most respects.

Ayumi's relief that she didn't have to go making any doctor's appointments was quickly pushed aside as she took in his assurances that she didn't catch anything. Did he just admit...? She had to have misheard him. Her head cocked to the side as she look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Wait, are you saying you are, well, were a virgin?" she questioned, thinking there was some miscommunication between the two of them. No way was that his first time.

Yoshiki narrowed to the side, feeling a rush of embarrassment that she questioned it. Great, as if one time wasn't enough... "Y-yeah... Geez, don't make me say it twice," he grumbled with a blush, not that it could be seen past the red tint the heat had created. Her shock at the matter was both mortifying and... somewhat pleasing. Why? Well, it meant that he must have done better than a virgin, right? If he was bad, she probably could have came to the conclusion herself. So, at least there was that.

"Huh..." Ayumi said thoughtfully, unsure how she felt about taking his virginity. Not that it really meant anything beyond sex, but first times would never be forgotten. Plus, that was admittedly the best lay she's had in a while. Her and Keitaro's sex life was suffering greatly by the time he decided to end it. It had been pretty common for him to get relief, leaving her hanging because he'd be too tired to finish the job. God forbid she try to finish herself off, too. Keitaro always took that as an affront to his manhood or something... gah, she was better off without the jerk. That had been good and she didn't catch a disease from it. "Heh, well, good job, I s'pose," she told him with a small half-smirk. It was pretty cute and pathetic that he had never once fucked anyone before tonight.

Yoshiki gave her a flat look, for some reason not finding her comment much of a compliment. It was really strange that after what just transpired, they were still pretty joking around each other, like friends. Well, he guessed that was good... It surely meant no harm had been done to their friendship, right? "I'm not sure you're being serious...," he told her bluntly, obviously still embarrassed. "Go ahead and laugh. I know you want to," he grumbled, just being straight forward with how he assumed she felt about it. After all, that's how he always approached things. Just because he was older and in college didn't mean he was anymore tactful.

Ayumi couldn't fight back a full smirk, shaking her head lightly at him. Men were really sensitive about this stuff, weren't they? It was a little surprising he would just go ahead and say it, but that was Yoshiki for you. Blunt and tactless as ever. Though, she guessed she could understand the worry, since no one wanted to be bad in bed, man or woman. She honestly was close to laughing at him, but she had the good sense to hold it back to the amused smirk. After all, she was hoping for some more goes at it before leaving. It wasn't like she was going to be getting fucked anytime soon, since she really didn't like the idea of sleeping around, and she refused to jump back into another relationship for a long time. "It was good, Kishinuma," she assured him, patting his head. "Really, best I've had in a while, and I'm not being facetious."

Yoshiki still seemed a bit skeptic, but he guessed he'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Though, it was a little hurtful to his ego that is was the best she's had in a while. That meant her ex was better a while ago, didn't it? He may be reading too much into it, and obviously cared too much, but he couldn't help it. He didn't like that she had had better at any time. Hah, he was being so possessive, and he was still only her friend. "If you say so..," he said in a huff, glancing to the side.

Ayumi raised an eyebrow at him, wondering why he was being so huffy. She hadn't even believed him at first when he said he was a virgin. Ah, geeze, she couldn't handle this cradling a guy's ego thing. "Don't be so pouty," she scolded him in irritation. She wasn't going to soothe his ego any further with compliments, since it wasn't her job. She had said he was good, what more did he want? Well, she had no idea what he wanted to hear, but she certainly knew what she wanted to do. A glint appeared in her eyes as her hand moved back down south to find his flaccid dick. How long had it been since he came? Ah, she couldn't keep track of time. Hopefully long enough that he could get it up again. "You up for another round?" she questioned with her smirk unwavering. Maybe it wasn't best to more-or-less challenge or tease him any further, but she couldn't help herself.

Yoshiki glanced to her with a slight grimace, but he wasn't really mad with her or anything. He was just bitter about being less than her ex at some point during their relationship. It was nothing he faulted her for, or something he expected her to repair. It was just a natural feeling to someone who held a crush that was lasting way too long. He flinched as she went to touch him again, and even though he wasn't completely recovered from his weariness, he was energized enough to feel more heat build up. "If _you_ are," he responded with a smirk, his hurt pride forgotten in his lust. This... was pretty much the best night of his life up to this point.

Ayumi laughed lightly at his response, beaming at the reply. This night was certainly going better then she expected. Hell, she had thought she might end up getting drunk at the club to pass out later, but she hadn't even gotten a drop of alcohol in her before the dancing and heat stirred her. "Don't you worry about me," she told him with confidence. She could keep up with him no problem, she suspected. Although... "Can we move to your bed though?" she questioned, since she definitely preferred the larger space and less confining piece of furniture.

Yoshiki smiled lightly at her laugh, always being quite a fan of it. It was weird... Even after this, once they became distant again like before, it would definitely be the more innocent things he'd miss...He sat back off of her, pulling up his bottoms, since even walking the short distance to the bedroom would be awkward waddling around or without pants at all. "Of course," he said with a light nod, moving through the darkness his eyes had become accustomed to. He wondered just how many times he'd last... Despite his good first performance, he was still inexperienced, which meant he probably didn't have the stamina she had. Didn't mean he wouldn't try his best in that department too, though.

* * *

Ayumi was exhausted, her legs quivering slightly from all the physical activity she was putting her body through. She was smiling lightly to herself, the covers over her bare body. They had managed a couple more rounds, but by the end she could tell Yoshiki was ready to pass out and she was too. As tempting as it was to roll over and fall asleep, she resisted the temptation. Sleeping over was what she would do if he was her boyfriend, which wasn't even an option in her mind. She shifted slightly, glancing at his peaceful, sleeping expression. It had certainly been a good night... great, even. Though... this had been a pick-me-up... She had no interest in Yoshiki romantically. Such a thought wouldn't have bothered her at all just a handful of hours ago. But, throughout the course of their night together, the meaning behind that 'vibe' she kept noticing quickly became apparent. It was in his touch... and in his eyes. It made her worry that Yoshiki may have been interested in more than sex. Which would make the idea bubbling in her head absolutely awful and cruel to go through with, right? Though, the entire night had worked out so perfectly. She felt calm and relaxed from all the times he gave her relief. His touch felt good. Really good. So... maybe she just could- 'No... no. I can't do that. I mean... it would be taking advantage,' she realized with a soft sigh. She forced herself to sit up. Her ab muscles were sore, as they always were after a night like this. She moved quietly to find her clothes, not wanting to disturb him. 'It would be alright, though, wouldn't it?' she questioned herself as she began to redress. 'It's not like I can find this anywhere else. A guy that cares for me... possibly has a crush... maybe even loves me. He makes love to me, it isn't just a quick fuck,' she thought as she glanced at him once more before slipping out of the bedroom. She grabbed her coat, putting it on. 'It'll be alright... right? It isn't like I told him I feel the same. My intentions are clear. So, if he agrees, surely it's fine,' she finally concluded with a small smile. She had nothing to feel bad about, the arrangement would serve them both.


	2. Chapter 2

Yoshiki drowsily woke up to the blaring of his alarm. Ugh, he was still a bit sore... When had they even finished? He couldn't remember the time he had finally stopped and passed out beside her. He rubbed his eyes, sitting up and turning off the alarm. Glancing over, he for some reason anticipated her to be there. Of course, she wasn't, which left a hollow feeling in its wake, but it was only a one-nigh fling. He had anticipated this... Still, preparation didn't make it sting any less. Though, he really shouldn't be so sore about it, since he never would have thought he'd even get to feel Ayumi on that level, or really at all. So, he'd take the good with the bad. He got up and got in the shower, just thinking over what had happened yesterday. It was an event that blind-sided him, but he didn't regret it, really. It hadn't seemed to damage their friendship either, everything was okay. He'd go to school, the friends would return to their own lives, and he would just take this as a good experience. After all, that's all it was... A mind-blowing experience, that is.

It had been a couple days since her night with Yoshiki. Her roommate, Ren, had been super curious to her late night. Ayumi just lied, because she really didn't want anyone knowing what she had been doing. She had been debating with herself how to get them to the established friends with benefits status... Once she got him back in the bedroom, it would probably be clear what was going on. It wasn't like she once hinted at anything deeply emotional about the set-up. In her small, shared dorm room, she held her phone with narrowed eyes as she debated a simple way to start this. It felt like something she had to be careful with. If she was right about her inkling that Yoshiki may hold some sort of flame for her, she needed to be precise in her wording. Ugh, she was making it more complicated than need be. 'Hey, are you free tonight?' she hit send, not letting herself think it out too much. It would be best to find out if he was even available for her plans. She knew he had a lot on his plate with school, work, and generally just life. She blinked at her ceiling, pushing herself to sit up. She grabbed her book, figuring a text may not be sent back so soon, so she should occupy herself. Ugh, she'd really like to be able to meet up with him tonight. It was getting her restless just thinking about it.

Yoshiki was absolutely exhausted. Today had been one of those rough ones where he had to open, then have classes back to back. He sighed, collapsing against the couch, feeling like he could just pass out there... But then again, he was too restless for it. His eyes glanced to the clock, reading it as nearly eight. At least night school didn't have him out as late as closing in work would... He sat up, his hand fumbling in his jacket pocket for his phone. He gave it a curious glance, finding it a bit strange that Ayumi had contacted him. It was sent a little bit ago... Of course, he didn't touch his phone at school. Though, he wondered if she still wanted to know when it was already so late... Ah well, he couldn't ignore her, even if she may have already given up and filled her schedule or had went to sleep. 'Right now, yeah. Did you want to do anything?' Of course, by sending this, he didn't know her intentions were going south again. He had actually assumed maybe she just generally missed hanging out with friends. He knew he did. So, despite their endeavor that was only about two days old, he assumed it to be in the past and considered forgotten between them, and therefore thought about this in an innocent light.

Ayumi hadn't expected a reply to take so long. She found herself a little deflated as hours ticked away, but she knew he had a full schedule so she couldn't get too irritated. She read a few chapters of her book, wrote most of an essay, and was just online to figure out a show or movie she could stream. While she was debating against a horror flick or a romantic drama, her phone buzzed and lit up. She grabbed it, seeing Yoshiki had replied. She perked up a bit, eyes scanning her phone. At the reply, Ayumi was unsure if her intentions were coming off. It was the problem with texting, because voice and body language indicators were completely left out of the equation. She could slip in a winky emoticon... but honestly that seemed a little weird and not very good at the whole seducing thing. Ah, well, she would just reply, and if she needed to be in person with him to give him the hints, so be it. 'Yeah, can I come over?' She sighed, once again forcing herself to just send it as is. She couldn't think of any way to make a text 'sexy'.

Yoshiki was somewhat surprised to get a reply so shortly after his own. Her answer and how quickly it came made him wonder about the intentions, however... What else could she possibly do just at his house? It could just be a meeting place to do something else, or she just wanted to talk, but he found himself doubting such innocent intentions. Which, damn it all, made him start to think that she may actually... like him, as in more than a friend. He was in dangerous waters at this point, just asking to get eaten alive, but it could hardly be helped. Hesitantly, and not fully aware of what he was getting himself into, he replied with a small 'Sure'. Ugh, what was he doing to himself?

Ayumi smiled, feeling an excitement bubbling inside of her at the answer. She could only hope Yoshiki would catch up with what was happening here, though she found it all to be pretty obvious. Either way, it wasn't like he would say 'no' to her once the offer was out there. Besides the fact he rarely refused her, the new knowledge that he may possibly be interested in her made her confident he would jump on it. 'I'll be over in a few,' she replied to let him know she was indeed coming over. She stood up, glancing at herself in the mirror. She was in a typical skirt with the off the shoulders type shirt, and her hair was still loosely tied in twin-tail fashion. With a date, she would spruce herself up more, but in this situation, she didn't care to. They'd be naked and sweating in no time, so it was a moot point. She grabbed her zip-up jacket, figuring it would be warm for her. She was out the door in minutes, though she realized maybe she should take her time walking there. She didn't want to be overeager... The walk to his apartment wasn't bad, her mind buzzing in anticipation. She knocked her fist lightly against his apartment door, not feeling comfortable just walking in.

Yoshiki just simply read her reply, before tossing his phone to the seat next to him. Let's see... He felt a little nervous, and a shower would probably help... He didn't know exactly where Ayumi lived, so he was unsure if he had time, but he bet he had the time. He did as such, hopping in for a short few minutes just to relieve some nerves that had built up, and to wake him up from his tiring day. He got out and rubbed through his hair to dry it lightly, only getting time to put pants on before he heard a knock. Well, it seemed he had just enough time to do what he wanted, and he didn't worry too much about the lack of clothing. Even if she wasn't here for what he assumed, it wouldn't be awkward. He was a guy, therefore had nothing to hide under a shirt... Yeah, generally speaking, guys weren't that embarrassed about going anywhere shirtless. He slung the slightly damp towel around his neck, ruffling his hair a little as he walked to the door. He opened it, letting his hand fall back to his side. "Hey," he greeted simply.

Ayumi waited, trying to keep a neutral expression on her face. She wasn't one-hundred percent sure how she was going to carry this out. The seduction nights before had been driven by heat, and she hardly thought it out at all. Here, she had to be a bit more calculating. Plus, it wasn't like she was a seductress by nature. Keitaro had been the only guy she had been in a relationship with, and the initiation of sex had been easy. Here... well, it was probably going to be easier than she was worrying about. She became more alert as the door opened. Eh? Okay, she hadn't been expecting him to be shirtless... though, she certainly wasn't complaining. It took a moment to even register his voice as her eyes moved over his exposed skin. She hoped the lust she felt wasn't too obvious in her expression, though, if he caught it, things may be easier to get started. After a small moment of distraction, she realized she should respond. "Hi." Okay, not her best material, but she had been thrown off, and any other response was lost in the desire to run her hands over him. Plus, he didn't give her much to work with, and she needed to be inside before she could get physically involved with him.

Yoshiki he waited only a second before ushering her in, shutting the door behind her. "Sorry to be pushy, but it's kinda too cold just to be standing around," he noted, pausing afterword. He never wanted to make the first move, because he wasn't even sure of her intentions. And if they were dirty, he didn't know the direction she wanted to go in. It was best just to give her the power to start, if they were. "So...," he muttered, still not wanting to cross any lines verbally for fear of jumping the gun.

Ayumi nodded as she was brought inside the apartment. Right, the cold coming in would be felt by him, considering he was half-naked. Though, it didn't seem to be in preparation for her and possible activities. Rather, he had just taken a shower. She looked at him as he muttered, waiting a moment to see if he was going to say anything. Well, if she was going to make a move, it would be best to do it now. "So," she echoed him, moving closer. "I was thinking that we could pick up where we left off..." she said coyly, a seductive smile on her face as she looked at him with half-lidded eyes. She closed any gap between them, her arms wrapping around his neck. She was diving in headfirst, resolved to getting them to the point of friends with benefits... or fuckbuddies or whatever the hell they call it.

Yoshiki became more alert as she moved closer. So, she was here for that... Now, the question he was cursing over. Why did she want it again? Was she just hungry for it, or... Ugh, God forbid he think she was here because she held some sort of affection for him. While considering these things, he began to think if he really needed to be doing this... The offer was tantalizing, but he just knew he would be getting in over his head... Though, did he even have the ability to refuse? The answer to that was a simple, resounding no. He grew a smirk, his eyes narrowing at hers as his arms winding around her waist. "You certainly are hasty," he noted, lightly teasing her in a low voice, "It's very interesting to see this side of the class rep." Even now, they still used that nickname for her. It just stuck, and gave plenty of opportunities for a teasing. Besides, how could it not define her? She had been the representative for their third year class too. It was like destiny.

Ayumi found herself very pleased as his arms winded around her waist, seemingly accepting the offer. Though, not without a little bit a teasing. She rolled her eyes at being referred to as class rep, a nickname that would never escape her. Not that she really minded it much. She pouted slightly, shooting him a flat look, though it was all in jest. "You should know I'm not one to wait," she told him. When it came to most things, she didn't exercise patience if she had a hand in furthering the process quickly. Her expression shifting to a cocky smirk. "And you should consider yourself privileged to see this side," she half-joked as she pressed herself into him a little more. She would tack on a joke about the fact he had been a virgin, but that would admittedly be a little mean and more problematic, a possible mood killer.

Yoshiki matched her smirk, finding this sort of conversation more natural than last time. He still thought it to be strange to be teasing like they were still only friends, but it didn't feel weird anymore. "Trust me, I do," he noted, since he knew Ayumi was no whore. He assumed the only other person she had ever laid with would be her ex, but that's it. Of course, he felt privileged for another reason, being that he had chased her around for years with nothing to show for it, but now he was getting all kinds of sex... and maybe even mutual attraction... Urgh, there he goes again! He needed to stop with such ideas... Anyway, he wanted to get started right then, lean in and kiss her deeply, but he'd like to already be on the bed this time. "C'mon then. Let's start this privilege," he said in a sly tone, unwrapping his arms from her waist and moving her along to the bedroom. Once inside, he pressed her against the bed, making a quick start as he kissed up her neck, then eventually to her mouth where tongue was quickly added.

Ayumi was a tad thrown off by the non-teasing answer. She was glad he didn't think she was someone who would slept around, but she wasn't comfortable with any sincerity like that. The teasing was fine, but she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't his girlfriend. She'd establish boundaries when she had the chance, for now she was happy following him into his bedroom, the kiss before serving to make her more excited. Ayumi felt very satisfied with her idea, having no doubts this arrangement would serve them both. Once on her back, in his bed, she kissed him back greedily, the meshing of their tongues sending sensations down her spine. She tugged the towel that hung around his neck off, and her hands traveled through his somewhat damp hair and over his broad shoulders. She felt herself quickly heating up, eager for what was to come.

Yoshiki ran his hands underneath her shirt, breaking the kiss a moment to push the unneeded piece of clothing off. He ran his hands all along her body, her sides and back proving to be the places he favored as he continued the deep kiss. A fire was steadily growing within him, and was starting to truly feel like they were just picking up where they left off. So, he guessed this could be counted as round four. Due to his busy day, though, he may only get through two sessions today.

Ayumi let out a small moan as her shirt was taken off, and she could feel his skin against her's. His hands left a trail of fire, her entire being alert to the movements he made against her. She liked foreplay, she really did, but she found herself throbbing for him already. Being out of the game for so long had built up her sexual appetite, it seemed. "Hey," she said, breaking the kiss and getting his attention. "Lay on your back," she suddenly requested, since she had the desire to take control of this. He could top next round, she just wanted to ride him for now.

Yoshiki was a bit irritated that their kiss had been broken, but that was only because he was lost in the heat of the moment. Once he could actually focus past that, he could actually register what she had requested of him. By the sounds of it, he'd be the bottom this go... Not that it particularly bothered him. It actually was kind of exciting in of itself... So he had no issue making a small submitting hum, moving from his pinning down position to being on his back, as requested. It would be weird, but she had experience, so he didn't doubt it would feel amazing. Plus, with her in charge of how fast things went and where inside of her he hit, it would make it more likely she'd reach an amazing climax. All in all, it seemed to hold no cons.

Ayumi grinned lightly to herself at his obedience... He was much easier to control than Keitaro had ever been. As he moved onto his back, she unhooked her bra to toss it aside. She had finally gotten into the habit of wearing 'nicer' bras when she entered the dating world. While sport bras had always been more comfortable, they did admittedly make her look a bit flatter and they were a pain to get off. She unzipped her skirt, pulling her skirt and panties off in one fell swoop. Left in with nothing on, she made sure to put him in the same condition. She undid his pants and boxers, tugging them off and flicking them aside now that she could finally get down to business. Well, almost... she couldn't just toss aside the chance to see a teased Yoshiki. She moved herself, straddling him as she adjusted herself near his hard member. She leaned down, her pussy grazing the silken skin of his cock, continuing to kiss him deeply. She began to move her hips so her folds rocked against his dick, coating him in her wetness. The action put pressure of her clitoris, so she could be very content just rubbing against him for quite a bit of time.

Yoshiki watched her remove the rest of her clothes herself, his insides firing up with desire at her exposed chest. Well, every inch of her bare body set him off, actually. He gave a small sigh of relief as she freed his dick of its constraints. If he cared enough about pride, it would've been a bit embarrassing that she was undressing him when he was fully capable, but at this stage there was no such word as pride. He had to say, her position on top was quite alluring, but he really had been too quick to say that nothing bad would occur as a result. Of course, she was choosing to tease him... Aaagh, she could be pretty mean sometimes... Even as they resumed their kiss, he couldn't keep back throaty growls of pleasure, yet suffering. He was throbbing with a want to be inside, so much so that he was getting close to the point of begging. Her slick folds moving across him sent jolts of pleasure, but it was such a tease to what he could be feeling, and his body knew it.

Ayumi was smirking against their kiss at his throaty growls. There was something about reducing a man to a begging puddle of desire that made the entire thing so much more satisfying. Though, admittedly she didn't know how Yoshiki would react to prolong teasing. Nnng, the feeling of his now slick cock against her was sending jolts of fire across her folds. She suddenly broke the kiss, because she needed to readjust herself to sit up a bit so she could get a better angle and grip. Her hands straddled his sides to grab the sheets of the bed as an anchor. She rocked against him faster, pressing herself a little harder against him as the pressure felt amazing on her clit.

Yoshiki found it extremely hard to keep his voice in check as she shifted to move faster against him. He couldn't force down guttural moans and heavy pants, but he was still keeping any utterance of his feelings or her name from his orgasmic noises. He still wasn't sure where she stood, and if she kept those things out of it, he would do his best to as well. Though, her constant rubbing was driving him mad, to the point he had no shame. "NnnggaAAaa... S-stop... being so selfish...," he breathed out with a small, uneasy smirk, though he couldn't open his eyes to look at her.

Ayumi was getting really into moving herself against him, the pressure building up enough she was either going to come by grinding his length or very quickly when she eventually let him in. At his command, she let out a breathy laugh. "I don't really think you're in a position to be making demands," she pointed out between pants and gasps. She shuddered pleasurably as the movements of her hips never ceased. It was a little mean, but delayed gratification was good to learn and the more pressure built up, the better the orgasm. So, really, she was doing him a favor. Also, she wanted to hear him beg. She wasn't even worried about him pulling something like this with her, since she doubted he could pull it off without just caving and getting to the actual act.

Yoshiki was a little frustrated by her answer, but he couldn't say he was really surprised. Actually, what he was shocked at was the fact he had let her on top. He should have known the outcome... Then again, he strangely wasn't sure if he'd choose any different next time. In response, he'd like to say something along the lines of asking if he's been a bad student, but that would turn this into some kinky role play, and he had no idea where she would draw the line... Though, it was always tempting to say something that when in the category of class representative. Anyways, it was obvious what she was trying to get him to do. Even he could tell her objective, other than the gratifying pleasure it gave her... And he wasn't above giving in to her wishes. "Please... H-haa, I'm begging," he noted through a held back groan. He wanted inside her, no matter what it took. If she wanted him to beg, he'd do so, and maybe a trick or two.

Ayumi was beaming at the begging, something hot stirring inside of her. If she was really nice, she'd acknowledge his held-back pride and let him in, but she honestly liked making him work for it. There was something very attractive and empowering about making the usually calm and collected cool-guy Yoshiki beg for her. "Mm? What's that? I can't hear you," she purred lightly with a smile. She could feel herself closing in on an orgasm too, which wouldn't mess up anything for him. The blessing of being a girl was getting more than one shot so closely together. She was having trouble biting back her own noises as she used his length to get off.

Yoshiki would have given a tired sigh but her predictable want for more, but his lungs were too busy keeping up with his racing heart. Yeah, her folds felt good... but they were only building up pressure, and not giving him the actual release he wanted that her tight, warm walls would. So, he'd play her game. He had to, at this point. "Please, class rep!" he said with more urgency, and even less pride. Why use the nickname? Well, it wasn't because he was trying to start anything bizarre. It's because he didn't know what to call her in this situation. Shinozaki just sounded weird during intercourse, and despite their sexual behavior, he didn't feel he had the right to say Ayumi, yet. At least, he hadn't been called either name by her so far. But he had to call her _something_, and that was the only thing that came to mind.

Ayumi glanced at him with a mix of confusion and curiosity at use of her old title in bed, though the expression flickered back to the seductive smirk. Heh, she was beginning to think he had a kink or something towards that role. "Now, now, if you're addressing your class rep, you must be more specific than that," Ayumi taunted. She was admittedly being cruel at this point, but she was thoroughly enjoying herself. "I have to deal with so many requests, you know," she joked, taking on the title of class rep, as she normally did when addressed by it. Though, she couldn't say the role had ever once come up in the bedroom before. She felt her legs quivering slightly, the orgasm was so close, but it was admittedly hard to reach when she wasn't concentrating on it.

Yoshiki mentally cursed as his split-second decision caused more troubles. Well, at least in his current state, embarrassment wasn't a problem. Also, calling her 'class rep' could have gone so much worse. She could have taken the throw-in of such a title as a mood killer, then everything would come crashing down, and he definitely didn't want that. "Please... let me inside," was all he could manage to elaborate, his breath not allowing for anything lengthier than that. Not that he wanted to be wordy, he wanted to be inside her... Ugh, after all this teasing, he may be too tired from school and work to go even a second round... This pressure and begging was spending more of his dwindling energy than he'd like...

Ayumi smiled, only able to keep one eye open and on him as he continued to beg. She would reply, but her plateau finally clicked into her orgasm, so her movements had to stop for a moment as she rode it out for seconds. She panted, her heartbeat picked up wildly from the shot of electricity pulsing through her. She could force him to keep begging, but she felt she had played with him a sufficient amount of time. She took a few deep breaths, before she picked her hip up a bit, halting the grinding against his dick. She grabbed his length, now slicked up from her wetness, and positioned it at her entrance. Once sure the angle was good, she finally gave him what he wanted. She took all of him in, not waiting to being grinding him against her walls. Her legs and ab muscles were burning at this point, but that hardly registered in her mind as it clouded over in pleasure. She picked up a pace quickly, grinding his length specifically against the spot inside her that she has learned to be sensitive.

Yoshiki own thoughts slowed as her body paused in movements. The pressure was still there, but knowing she was coming, he felt a strange sense of pleasure and satisfaction. After the seconds of her climax passed, he was a bit surprised she was already moving to move him inside... Of course, he was excited, and he knew girls didn't have the same tiring-out effect, but still, she had to be somewhat exhausted. All thoughts were erased as she took all of him, his mind blanking as she picked up a quick pace. Within moments he was moving with her rhythm, gasping and groaning, but thanks to her teasing, he wouldn't last long at all. But since she had already released herself, and he was still irritated about being played with, he wouldn't feel bitter about releasing too soon. His pressure was building even more, as he had assumed, and his own orgasm came swiftly after an indeterminate amount of minutes. He pushed up a final time to dig deep into her, releasing his cum after and giving a loud groan. Not that he could control when he pulled out of her, so he guessed if she hadn't reached her second one, she could keep going while he was still semi-stiff.

Ayumi let out a cry as he dug himself deeper into her to release, feeling his cock twitching against her inner walls to fill her with his cum. While she was sensitive from her last orgasm, she hadn't gotten there again quite yet. It wouldn't suck completely if she didn't manage a second one, but she hoped she could relieve the pressure she built up again. She moved against him harder, getting his dick to swipe against her g-spot with more force to finally trigger her second orgasm after a couple well-aimed thrusts. She trembled lightly as her mind blanked with the pressure flooding through her. The moment it was over, her exhaustion quickly became apparent to her. It felt like a chore lifting herself off of him, collapsing to his side. Her breathing was heavy as she struggled to regain her normal breathing, and her legs were quivering lightly from the exercise she forced her body through. It wouldn't be such a bad burn in her muscles if she hadn't spent so long teasing him, but she was willing to take the soreness in exchange for hearing Yoshiki beg.

Yoshiki could hardly pay attention to anything else, his mind and body was tired from both the sex and his overall day. Once she pulled him out and laid at his side, he couldn't keep his eyes open or mind alert. He was awake enough to unconsciously shift underneath the covers, but past that, ugh... He was completely out of fuel... Within minutes, he was sound asleep, his breaths soft and even again.

Ayumi wasn't able to keep herself awake either, though she tugged herself out of it after half an hour. She figured she should make it a little rule for herself that she doesn't sleep over. She felt her muscles protest as she crawled out from the warm bed to the cold air. She stumbled around tiredly in the dark, finding her clothes, except for her shirt which was still out in his living room. She was quiet as she finally made herself presentable enough to go out in public. After a quick check-over, she left his apartment. It had all gone well... She was so far very happy with her idea to continue this endeavor instead of just keeping it a one-night stand.


	3. Chapter 3

Yoshiki opened his eyes drowsily, unsure of when he had fallen asleep, and how long he had been out. His tired eyes glanced to the clock beside him, and it read something along the lines of nine... His vision was still a bit blurry, so the red light sort of blended together. He sighed, tossing himself onto his back with a sigh. Curiously, his eyes glanced at his side. She was... gone... This time, it hurt worse, because dammit if he hadn't let himself believe in something more... Hadn't he learned not to give hope to the idea?! Ugh, and now... he felt awful... Even worse about this stupid long-living flame than before. It really was ruining him... "Again, huh?..," he muttered quietly to the empty room, his eyes staring a moment before he turned his head away. He'd like to keep his cool, and just go about his day, but his heart couldn't take it while keeping up it's strong forefront. He moved his arm over his eyes, as if hiding from the no one around his eyes that were watering up. "Fuck this stupid crush... Just die already!... Please..."

It was a few nights later that they met up again. Ayumi was pretty content nowadays that the stress built up from sexual frustration was gone, with a way to relieve it whenever it reared its head. Plus, it was admittedly nice in a way to have the sex and not the relationship. She had to keep in constant contact with Keitaro when they were together. Though, at the time she didn't mind it so much, now it was hard to think of attaching herself so closely to someone again. It was nice being able to just send a text with an inquiry if he was free or not. It was expected some nights he couldn't manage it given his schedule... eh, she'd learn the specific nights that were definite 'no's' at some point.

The night had gone by great, her entire body humming in satisfaction after a round. She panted heavily next to him, catching her breath. It was then she remembered she should probably talk to him about what was happening. After all, she had read online that to make a friends with benefits thing work out without the relationship imploding, things had to be crystal clear. "Hey," she said as her breathing settled down. "If this is gonna be a common thing, we should probably set some ground rules."

Yoshiki was pretty tired, but he wasn't to that passing out stage. His mind came alive when Ayumi spoke. A common thing... Was it?... Well, they had done it quite a bit, so he guessed... It was unhealthy for him, but he couldn't help it. It was an excuse to see Ayumi, and to feel her... "I'm listening...," he told her to make sure she knew he was alert and ready to listen to anything she had in mind.

Ayumi had been debating with herself what to make rules... she hoped she was going to cover all the grounds, but they could always add things if it became necessary. "Alright... first of all, I think we should stick with calling each other by family names," she told him. It wasn't really a big thing, but there was an intimacy made if they began moaning each other's personal names during sex. Plus, it was a question she didn't like hanging in the air. "Second, this isn't a relationship so neither of us are allowed to get jealous or clingy with one another. Third, I don't think we should go telling anyone about this. Fourth, we both have the power to call quits on this thing without the other getting bent out of shape," she said, listing the rules off on her fingers. She furrowed her brow thoughtfully. Did that cover it all? Other rules she had specifically for herself... no sleepovers, no eating over, no hanging out without sex being involved. "I think that covers it. Any additions?" she questioned him, figuring if he wanting to add something, now would be a great time.

Yoshiki thought over each rule. Well... none of it sounded unfair or anything, so he had no qualms about it. He furrowed his brows lightly though, and looked to the side, a little concerned. Taking all of this stuff so seriously, though... He was beginning to worry... "No, not really... I do have a question, though...," he muttered, glancing back at her. He didn't mean this romantically, or for it to have any sort of deeper intimacy. It's just... "Does this mean... we can't be normal friends anymore?" he asked with a certain uneasiness. He wasn't sure this was worth such a hefty price... To not be able to be normal friends, who just life and hang out together... Friends they had been for years... Even if it meant being allowed to be involved with Ayumi sexually, he would have to say... he'd miss that much more than sex.

Ayumi turned a bit to look at him in curiosity as he mentioned having a question. Her eyes widened slightly as he presented the inquiry. She was thrown off, unsure how to answer him. Had they been such great friends before? Of course they were close... but she couldn't recall one time the two had hung out without either or both of Naomi and Satoshi present. Though, that was mostly due to her ability to ignore texts or blow off invitations for the two to be alone. "Of course not," she answered, because she couldn't take too long. "It's called friends with benefits for a reason. Things are like they are before, just with sex," she said with a small shrug. She didn't know if she truly believed that, since now she was somewhat aware of the very possible fact that Yoshiki had a crush on her. Still, things would be fine once this inevitably came to a close. They'd go back to just as they had been.

Yoshiki looked to her in a silence, but didn't find her answer very reassuring. Really, nothing anyone could have said would have put him at ease, because it was sort of a phobia he had of losing his few, but precious, friends... Still, he'd give her the benefit of the doubt. After a moments pause past her answer, he tore his eyes from her to look tiredly at the ceiling. "I guess so...," he muttered. Well... with all that said, they now had rules... and she seemed to be confident everything would be fine. He couldn't hold the same spirit... But that wasn't too alarming. He had this fear before they had even started this. It had actually been haunting him since graduation had loomed close, and everyone split ways to go to college. They were really all he had... Satoshi, Naomi, and Ayumi. It's only natural he'd always be in fear that he'd lose them. This wouldn't change anything, it was just an excuse to ask the question out loud.

It had been a little more than half a week since the two had been able to last meet-up. Ayumi was fine not being able to see each other for periods of time, since it was best to avoid anything daily. They had to keep a certain level of detachment, after all. She was flying high when their schedules lined up, and she had arrived at his apartment ready to go. It hadn't taken long for the two to meet in a deep kiss. Ayumi was so impatient, she just tugged him on top of her as they fell on the couch. As her hands frantically began to undress him, her motions were halted.

_'Knock. Knock.'_

She broke the kiss at the sound, her eyes flattening in annoyance. "What? Whose that?" she asked quietly, shooting him an irritated look. He had said he was free tonight, and she wasn't happy being interrupted just as she was losing herself to the heat.

Yoshiki was also agitated at the interruption, but he soon noted Ayumi's anger, which he certainly didn't want to be the unjust receiver of it. He gave her a shrug, backing off of her and standing. He looked a second for his shirt before retrieving it from the floor and slipping it on. "Hide, or something," he told her quietly, since he had a sort of idea of who it was. He didn't get a whole lot of visitors besides his small circle of friends, or really, only one friend ever visited him regularly at his house. _Man, you better have a good reason..._, he thought with a frustrated sigh, messing with his hair lightly. He trudged over, unlocking and opening the door. Yep, of course... Not that he didn't like having a friend over, but he was kind of in the middle of something... Well, thank God he hadn't gotten a boner yet. "Ah, hey, Satoshi...," he said, but it was more than a greeting, it was a warning to Ayumi, if she hadn't already sensed the urgency of the situation. "What's up?"

Ayumi's eyes narrowed at him as he told her to hide, somewhat indignant. Whoever it was, couldn't he just get rid of them? But, that may look suspicious in of itself. She didn't want anyone knowing about this, so she had no choice but to resign herself to hiding. She just hoped this wouldn't take long. She was glancing around, unsure of where to go. No way in hell was she hiding in a closet... She suddenly became much more alert of the situation as he greeted Satoshi. She mentally cursed as she headed into his bedroom and shut the door quietly behind her. If she was going to be stuck somewhere, it was best to be somewhat comfortable.

"Hey, sorry for coming over without warning," Satoshi firstly apologized. If he ever showed up, there was normally some text to confirm the meeting would be okay. "I just... I've been thinking... and I need you to give me a very honest opinion," he began to frantically try to explain.

Yoshiki shook his head, moving so Satoshi could come in. He wasn't really worried... Satoshi wouldn't have any reason to go to his bedroom, so Ayumi and their secret would be safe. "It's no problem... I'm not the best on advice, but you can count on me to be honest," he mentioned, so he was, and probably always will be, pretty blunt. But, him helping in any sort of dilemma Satoshi was having was rare, especially since it usually had to do with decisions with Naomi. He... wasn't helpful in the category of love...

Satoshi came into the apartment after Yoshiki moved aside. His brow was furrowed as he tried to figure out how to probably ask and explain the idea in his head. He turned to look at Yoshiki, knowing he could help ground him in a decision. Hopefully. Either way, he needed to talk to someone, and he trusted Yoshiki most. "Okay, I realized I don't like calling Naomi my girlfriend," he began, but his nervousness made it come out wrong and he scrambled to correct it. "I mean, I like that she is my girlfriend, I just don't like the title. It just seems to flippant for how I feel about her. I started thinking... and I know for sure I want to be with her the rest of my life," he explained, his cheeks turning red. "And, well, I..." he began to stammer out as he took out a silk box, popping it open to reveal an engagement ring. It had been his grandmother's, given to him years ago. He looked at Yoshiki in nervous expectancy.

Yoshiki was confused at first, but as Satoshi kept on his nervous explanation, he realized with a jolt what this was about. Sure, it was fast... But he knew Satoshi, and knew he wouldn't dive in if he wasn't absolutely sure of his feelings... So he believed him when he voiced his confidence that he wanted to spend his life with Naomi. His eyes went to the ring, his mind churning to give Satoshi the right advice. They were still only in their early twenties... Most people would think getting married now is ridiculous... But most people didn't go what they went through. They were more bonded than the average person, especially Satoshi and Naomi. After all, he had helped her make a come back from Heavenly Host. They were pretty much halves of each other. Fit perfectly, so to speak. Of course he was jealous, but he was at least past even getting agitated with Satoshi. "Well... if you're certain about it...I can't tell you any different. It's what you want to do," he mentioned, since if Satoshi felt so strongly, his opinion shouldn't matter. It's not like he knew how the two were going, only they knew that. But... "Though, if you really want my opinion... I'd say go for it," he added, in case he really just needed that little push forward.

Satoshi felt a lot of relief that Yoshiki's first reaction wasn't to pick the idea to death. He was aware of their ages, he knew that both of them were in school, and he knew that most people carried the belief high school romances would die out. He couldn't even imagine his life with Naomi in it... He wanted to cement the idea to the world around them. He wanted to be able to call her his wife. "Y-You really think so?" he asked, feeling more encouraged to go for it. "You don't think I've lost my mind?" he questioned, since ever since the idea had entered his mind, he was unsure of his own clarity. The idea was so tempting, but he was also scared of a lot floating around it, but mostly, whenever he was with Naomi, he wanted to ask her right then and there.

Yoshiki shook his head, a faint smirk on his face. "Not at all, I get it. You should go for it. I bet she feels the same," he noted to pump some more confidence in his friend. Not that he was lying. He really believed those two were just a bundle of mutual affection. It's true he wasn't around them much these days, but for him wanting to marry Naomi, not much had probably changed.

Hearing someone else support this crazy idea he has been toying with was solidifying the idea in his mind. Satoshi was genuinely expecting a yes from Naomi once he proposed... at least, he was extremely hopeful. He could understand reluctance since it wasn't anything they've ever talked about and one would think he'd wait till senior year at the very least. He was becoming incredibly impatient with the idea of postponing this any further. "Ha... yeah... thanks," Satoshi said with a smile. He felt a little winded just thinking that now he was going to have to figure out the actual proposal. "Oh, and... uh, this may be a bit early to ask. But... will you be my best man?" he asked, a bit embarrassed but genuine in the request.

Ayumi was leaning against the door with a confused expression on her face. She was eavesdropping, because she was bored and trying to figure out how long this was going to take. She couldn't really gather what they were talking about... something with Naomi and Satoshi. Huh, she never thought guys talked about girl troubles very much with each other. She remained neutral on whatever they were talking about, because between the muffled voices and vagueness, she didn't want to jump to conclusions. That is, until she was damn sure she heard Satoshi say something about 'best man' and the entire conversation clicked into context in her mind. Her hands shot to her mouth to stop the surprised cry from escaping her mouth. Was... Satoshi going to ask Naomi to marry him?

Yoshiki for some reason hadn't seen the question coming. He was a little winded... He didn't know why, but the title held such... an honor? Even if he was naturally the first choice, being Satoshi's best friend through a lot, he never anticipated to be asked of something like that. It... felt good... They really were inseparable friends, huh? "Yeah, of course," he answered, beaming.

"Great," Satoshi said, more eager in nature than his previous worried and nervous state. Of course, he now had to plan a proposal, but that was more exciting that nerve-wracking. "So, what're you up to tonight?" Satoshi asked, since he did sort of come without warning. He wouldn't be surprised if Yoshiki ended up being busy, but he figured it didn't hurt to ask.

Yoshiki glanced around casually at the next question, giving a shrug. "I'm not up to anything right now... _But_, I have to open in the morning, so I can't hang out or anything. Maybe we can meet up next time you're not busy, and then celebrate," he offered with a smirk. Well... It wasn't completely a lie, and he didn't state the exact reason he was technically busy. He only left it to Satoshi's imagination, which would lead most to the answer that he was just going to head to bed early... Which also wasn't technically a lie, if they made it to the bed.

Satoshi smiled and nodded in understanding. He had no idea how Yoshiki kept up with such a frantic lifestyle without going crazy. "Sounds goods. I'll keep you in the loop for when I eventually figure out how to ask her..." Satoshi said, because he still wasn't sure what he was going to do to purpose. At least he knew a few things he would not do: hide the ring in food, ask her at a sport's game on the big screen, and the list went on. He wanted to avoid cliches... "Talk to you later," he said in farewell before exiting the apartment, his mind buzzing in ideas.

Yoshiki said his thanks and goodbyes before shutting the door, locking it and then shortly after giving a sigh. While it had interrupted them, he was glad Satoshi had come to him for advice. He stepped back from the door, rubbing the back of his head. He was relieved they hadn't been found out... Now that they were in the clear, the whole thing had been quite nerve wracking...

Ayumi waited by the bedroom door, hearing Satoshi leave but waiting a few moments before coming back out. It was... really hard to imagine Satoshi and Naomi getting married. Not because the two weren't good together, they were a great couple. It just made her feel weird that her classmates and long time friends may be getting married. She wasn't even sure if she ever wanted to enter that institution. She opened the bedroom door, looking at Yoshiki skeptically. "Is Mochida going to ask Nakashima to marry him?" she asked, because she needed to know if she gathered the information correctly.

Yoshiki turned at Ayumi's voice, understanding her skepticism, but he didn't feel like it was out of place. They were pretty much two peas in a pod... "Yep. Scaredy-cat Satoshi is gonna pop the question soon," he answered with a small smile. It was weird that the super shy Satoshi of class 2-9 was proposing so early... But again, he felt it was about time, in a way.

"Wow...," Ayumi marveled, stunned to hear that it was actually true. It was funny, her 17-year-old self would have considered this the end of the world. Of course, now she just felt happy for the two... even if the idea still seemed odd to her. Huh... should she tell Naomi this? No, probably not. It was good to be surprised... but, she had to admit, she wouldn't like such a surprise herself. Naomi was probably already expecting to spend her days with Satoshi, though, so the marriage would just confirm it to the rest of the world.

Yoshiki made a small humming noise, to agree with her astonishment. It was weird... He didn't feel eager to carry on anymore... Well, he would if she still wanted to, since he'd hate to have agreed on tonight and then not own up, but he just felt... neutral? Ugh, he didn't know... and such a feeling would probably be erased if she started them up again. He just didn't feel like initiating it right now.

As silence developed between the two of them, Ayumi realized she was no longer in the mood. She couldn't even say why. The interruption hadn't been a big deal... they hadn't been at risk for a moment of being found out. The happy news their friends may be marrying shouldn't affect this... but, she found herself unwilling to continue. "I think... I may just head back to my dorm," Ayumi told him, eyes glancing aside. She just wasn't feeling it anymore.

Yoshiki looked to her, seemingly not disheartened whatsoever. So she felt the same... It was weird, but it would also be nice to actually get to bed early, so he wouldn't be dead tired at work tomorrow. "Alright," he answered with a small nod, moving out of the way of the door. "Goodnight," he added, feeling it was just a customary 'goodbye' when it was late like this.

"Night," Ayumi responded before taking her leave. It was really weird how it just... fizzled. She was perplexed by what would have caused the deflation on both of their ends. She sighed, pinched her fingers against the bridge of her nose. The only thing she could guess was the idea of marriage in either of their minds was somehow a turn-off. Well, at least she didn't have to feel too bad about Yoshiki having affections for her, since it was probably just a crush. She sighed, a bit disappointed but there was always another chance in the future to meet up.


	4. Chapter 4

November 3rd. Ayumi frowned to herself as she stared at her cell phone, looking at the date with a heavy heart. Three years had gone by since that culture festival... since she brought that stupid charm out to try and make their friendships everlasting. If there was one day she wished she could skip or just sleep through, it would be November 3rd. It was weird... the five of them never specifically met up on the day, though Naomi and Satoshi were probably in each other's company. Maybe Yuka was with them. She just found herself too sick to be around the others, the guilt never fading from her conscious. She walked around the entire day feeling too empty to shed tears for her passed friends.

After her classes for the day, she found a nice spot in the library to just cozy up with a nice fictional book. Nothing supernatural, nothing dramatic, just a fluff read. It was somewhat soothing to her pained mind. She pulled out her cell phone, reading that it was almost eight-thirty. Wow, she had really zoned out for a few hours. At least the day was almost over.

She collected her stuff and headed back to her room. Ayumi planned to take some cold medicine to force herself to pass out, at least until it was November 4th. She couldn't stand the constant thoughts of Heavenly Host streaming through her head. She fumbled to get her keys out of her bag, unlocking the door and entering to a sight she couldn't have expected.

Keitaro's hand was up Ren's shirt, their mouths locked in a deep kiss. They were so involved in their own activity, they didn't realize Ayumi stepped into the room. "What the _hell_?" she said, eyes narrowing at the two as disgust boiled in her stomach. The two stopped kissing, looking at Ayumi in a daze.

"Ahhh, Shinozaki... I didn't think-" Ren began to say. Ayumi knew what was coming. 'I thought you wouldn't be home tonight', 'You two aren't dating anymore', 'This isn't what it looks like', the lines could go on and on and Ayumi had no desire to hear any of them.

"Shut up," she snapped, looking between the two as they finally had the decency to pull away from one another. "This is low, Abe," Ayumi said in a controlled voice. No way was she going to use his first name, the bastard sitting in front of her wasn't the one she once dated.

"C'mon, Shinozaki... this isn't a big deal. Don't blow this out of proportion too," Keitaro said with an awkward shrug. Ayumi couldn't believe what she was hearing. He had been so sweet and compassionate at one point in their relationship. Was it just an act or had he changed?

"This _is_ a big deal..." Ayumi said with a hard glare.

"Why? You still want me?" Keitaro suddenly challenged, catching Ayumi off guard. "It isn't like we're dating... Ugh, don't be so controlling."

Ren was remaining in a guilty silence at the scene unfolding. Ayumi had considered her a friend up to this point, but it seemed she had been misled with her too.

"Screw you, Abe," she snarled, turning heel and storming out of the dorm. She was so pissed, and at the moment she realized she had just given up her room. "For fuck's sake!" she cursed, stomping her foot on the ground. She wanted to cry, but they still wouldn't come to alleviate the building pressure in her chest. "Can I catch a break, _once_?!"she asked the sky in rage. Of course, she got no answer. Only a few odd looks from other students.

She found a bench to sit on as she debated her situation. Ayumi didn't really have any friends close enough that she'd crash in their dorm room. Her parents' house was on the other side of the city, and she couldn't stand the questions intertwined with popping up. Naomi wasn't close by either, and who the hell knows when Satoshi will purpose. She didn't want to accidentally mess anything up. She leaned back, going through her options multiple times in her head. They kept narrowing down to Yoshiki, which pissed her off. She didn't want to break her rule of not sleeping over his place..., but she also didn't want to sleep on the street. Or in the common room. She sat, staring up at the dark sky. She blinked as she felt water hit her face. She touched her cheek, wondering if she had finally started to cry.

No. It was rain.

It was only drizzling at this point, but Ayumi knew she should just make the decision. She could just sleep on his couch... She pushed off the bench, walking in defeat towards his apartment. There was something inside of her that just didn't want to see him today. She never wanted to be around anyone on the anniversary of their night in hell. It was late enough that she'd be able to sleep. She knew Ren had class tomorrow in the afternoon, so she could go get her stuff then... But... ugh, a room change was going to be hard to arrange this point in the semester.

Ayumi was between seething rage and overwhelming depression. She hated November 3rd. She finally got to his apartment, the rain starting to pick up. It was weirdly appropriate for the mood... A rainy, stormy night. She hesitated outside his door, staring at it in uncertainty.

This was the first time she had come to his place without the intention of sex. She sighed, wishing she didn't have to break her rule. She made a fist, lightly tapping it against his door. What if he wasn't even home? What if he fell asleep already? Ugh, she should have just taken the train across the city to her parent's.

Yoshiki hated this day... It was the sole reminder of how they lost their friends and teacher to that damned school... All of the day, he just felt like a zombie... So he always made sure to take off for it, and luckily, his schedule matched up this year so that he didn't have classes either. That meant it was a whole day of quietly sipping from a bottle of beer, just because it made him feel less like he was there. He'd take passing this day away for a hangover anytime... He didn't chug it like an alcoholic... In fact, through the course of twelve hours, he was only on bottle number two.

He sighed, swishing the beer inside a little before he heard a knock among the rain starting to pour outside. He didn't want to get it... To just pretend he wasn't home... But he couldn't, really. He stood from his seat, leaving the bottle on the counter, and opened the door. He was extremely surprised to see Ayumi. She... would never come around or contact him at all on November 3rd... "Shinozaki? What do you need?" he questioned, his brows furrowing. Surely she wasn't in the mood today... It just wasn't possible on this day... Especially when the weather was so much like how it had been then...

Ayumi wasn't able to make eye contact with him because she felt pathetic. "I... I can't stay in my room..." she began to explain. She felt shame burn her ears. She didn't want to explain what happened with Keitaro. It was too humiliating. "And I don't have anywhere else to go," she mumbled, staring at the floor. This wasn't supposed to happen. The last thing she needed was more awfulness piling on top of today. She had just wanted to get into her bed and pass out... She wanted to mope around and block out the world like she always did. Yet, here she was, being forced to ask Yoshiki for shelter.

Yoshiki looked at her, able to read her shame for having to come here. It felt kind of... bad, that this was a place she wanted to avoid, and he wasn't a person she could depend on... Especially on today, when his mind was prominent about all the sour feelings his self-conscious held onto about keeping Ayumi safe, but never getting a thanks. In reality, he didn't care so much, but in your mind, feelings were magnified, especially when she still didn't see him as viable to help. Despite this turmoil, he would give her a place to stay... He would never deny her when she needed his help. "That's fine... You can stay here," he said without hesitation, moving aside to let her in. He backed further inside before turning and sitting back at the counter. She... probably didn't want to talk to him, judging by her demeanor... He'd leave her alone...

Ayumi wished this could have happened on any other day than today. She could have played it off by initiating something to make her feel like she wasn't breaking one of her rules. She was sure they were both firmly turned off and there wasn't anything that would change that. Mayu... Sakutaro... Seiko... Ms. Yui... they were precious to all of them. Now, the world forgot them and Ayumi found herself struggling to remember their faces and voices. She nodded gratefully as he let her in. "I'll just sleep on the couch," she told him quietly, not wanting to get in his way. Though... it didn't seem like he had been in the middle of anything.

Yoshiki didn't look at her, but felt the need to talk. After all, the couch wasn't necessary... "Nah, you can have the bed... I can't really sleep," he explained in a soft, low voice. He wouldn't voice why, even though she probably already knew... She didn't need him bringing it up verbally, though. None of them did.

Ayumi would normally protest, but she didn't have the energy. Plus, since he wouldn't be sleeping... it wasn't a big deal. She didn't know why he'd torture himself by sitting awake and thinking about it, but she wasn't going to judge how he was dealing with it. "Alright..." she said, accepting the offer. She paused for a moment before just heading off into his room. She let the door slightly cracked opened, since it felt weird to close it or leave it wide open. She took off her shoes and socks, but left her clothes on. She crawled under the covers, shutting her eyes. It was still early, so it took a while, but the emotionally draining day eventually brought her to sleep.

Yoshiki was glad she no qualms about it, because he didn't really feel like arguing. He sighed after a few minutes, just blankly staring at the bottle he held, but hardly drank from. He wished he could sleep... to make it all go by fast, and get it out of the way... But he could hardly even shut his eyes. It was like this every year. He never slept on November 3rd... Not the night he came home from it all, and not any year after that. It hurt, and felt like he was torturing himself, thinking about it all day... But he guessed... it kept them all in his memory... After all, on today, he didn't just think about Heavenly Host... He also thought about those who died, and how they lived, in the single, short year he knew them. He guessed... it made it worth it, to keep them in mind when everyone else forgot them. He moved his free hand through his bangs, his head already hurting a bit. He drunk a small bit and just sat the bottle back down, unable to do anything else but stare.

* * *

The decaying hallways felt like the stretched forever as darkness swallowed almost everything near her. Ayumi's heart was pounding in her ears as she passed by the decayed corpses. Some of them were still in the process of being eaten by maggots while others had bleached white bones visible. She was trembling, but she kept moving. She didn't know how she ended up alone, and it felt like she had been traveling forever. Her fear was sucking away at her energy, but so far she had been okay. She looked down at her hands, wrapped from tripping on shards of glass. Her Kisaragi uniform was dirty and disgusting. "Kishinuma?" she questioned, glancing around as she opened a door. The classroom reeked, her stomach dropping as she saw half of a body. Who knows where the other half of the corpse was... "Ms. Yui?"she asked, her voice echoing back to her. Why did she have to be alone? The presence of death made her feel vulnerable.

_'Wait... I've done this before,'_ she realized, brow furrowed in confusion. Reality leaked into her vision, confusion hitting her. _'I got out! Why am I here again?'_ she questioned desperately, biting back a whimper. Her pace was beginning to pick up as she went running through the hallways. Past the girl's bathroom where Seiko hanged. Past the wall where Mayu was splattered. Past the window that Sakutaro threw himself out of. Past the room that Ms. Yui sacrificed herself for her. _'No, no, no!'_ she thought, her foot hitting a loose floorboard and she came crashing to the ground.

Ayumi whimpered as she went to sit up, but she felt a weight on her chest that made it impossible. Her eye's widened, her gaze met by Sachiko. She was giggling manically as she pulled out a large pair of rusted scissors, coated in dried blood from countless victims. "NO! NO! NOO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Ayumi began to scream, trying to get freedom, but her legs and feet felt bound.

_'Sniip, sniiip.'_

The rusted scissors clicked next to her ear, an awful taunt. She screamed, frantic memories of Yuki's death terrifying her to feeling this pain again, for real. Sachiko's giggles managed to drown out her screams. The scissors forced themselves into Ayumi's mouth, and she couldn't do anything. She could feel the rusted metal against the bottom of her tongue, the top blade yet to come down. Terror flooded her sensors at she could only wait.

Yoshiki didn't know how long it had been... From when she had left to go to bed, to the time he heard her scream. He just knew, like always, his instincts triggered and made him spring from the chair and move into the bedroom. He pushed the door aside, making it hit the wall lightly, and approached Ayumi. She was terrified, and he didn't even have to think about what. He sat on the bed, shifting her close by her shoulder. "Shinozaki! It's okay, you're safe! Just wake up... and everything will be fine." he told her urgently and in a loud tone, not wanting her to suffer through her memories any longer.

The scissors came down but she never felt the pain. Her eyes snapped open as she gasped, stunned for a moment. She didn't know where she was for a moment, alerted by unfamiliar surroundings. She blinked slowly as she realized she was in Yoshiki's room... When she realized his actual presence, she threw herself at him. Her arms wrapped around him tightly, and her head buried into his chest as sobs began to shake her body. It wasn't an action she put any thought into. Just the relief she wasn't in Heavenly Host and the grief that they had once lived through that led to her emotions exploding.

Yoshiki flinched slightly as she clung to him, not exactly expecting it. Still, he didn't mind, especially if it helped her calm down. He carefully hugged her back, but just in a comforting way. He didn't want his intentions to be misread. "It's okay... You're safe..," he repeated to keep trying to put her at ease, and his voice was softer now that she was actually awake and didn't need to be loud to wake her.

Ayumi whimpered pathetically against him, feeling the same way she did that night three years ago. It was weird, she hadn't really noticed at that time... but Yoshiki made her feel safer. It had been the same way in Heavenly Host, though she wasn't sure if it was Yoshiki or just the presence of another person in general. She choked back her sobs, her mind reeling from the thoughts rushing through her head. "It isn't fair!" she cried into him. "They shouldn't be dead... we shouldn't have had to go through that..." Her grip on him didn't lessen, the effect of bottling all these thoughts and feelings, especially on the anniversaries, were finally boiling over.

Yoshiki closed his eyes and his brows furrowed, feeling a bitterness as the subject was actually brought up. He couldn't blame her, though... She was probably going through a burst of emotions... Maybe it was good to let her get them out. "It's not, I know...," he agreed quietly, but said nothing more. It was probably best to just let her vent by herself. After all, the only person who knew her feelings best was herself, so she should get to be however she needs to be to get over this hill... Or rather, mountain.

Ayumi hated herself so much for ever bringing that charm out. Yes, the blame lied on Naho for publishing the wrong instructions, but they would have never done the charm if it hadn't been for her interest in the occult. "Naomi's getting married, and Seiko should be her maid of honor," Ayumi cried, her heart clenching as she remembered how close the two had been. "A-and Mayu was going to attend University with me and we would be roommates," she continued to cry. When Mayu had told her she was transferring, the two plotted to go to the same Art School. Mayu to learn how to be a production designer and her to learn illustration. Yoshiki's presence was almost forgotten to her, as her ability to filter was gone. She was depressed by their friends passing and the lives they were missing. "They all had the rest of their lives... They deserve so much more," she whimpered. They deserve to be remembered, they deserve a peaceful afterlife, they deserve to be alive.

Yoshiki listened quietly. Even if he felt he should say something, he wouldn't be able to come up with anything... All of it was saddening, if he wasn't already in a depressed state, but through it came worry. She probably still blamed herself... But it wasn't like she could have ever seen this coming. No fault lied with her, nor had he ever felt anger towards her because of it. Naho? Of course. He was fuming when they had found out the truth. Naho had manipulated so many into getting sent there. He'd go so far as to say she deserved her fate. But not Ayumi. She didn't know, and should never be held responsible. Still, he didn't want to say anything just yet, since he wanted the focus on her. She needed to let her emotions loose, and until she notified him that she was okay, he'd give her all the time in the world. He always would.

Ayumi fell silent, her thoughts turning inward as she wondered about those still stuck and those still entering. The charm was all over the internet... but, now one would even notice the disappearances or reality of the charm, because Heavenly Host stole the memories of those people. She released her grip on Yoshiki, becoming aware that she shouldn't be clinging to him as she was. She moved back slightly, her expression dark and her bangs casting a shadow over her eyes in the already dark room. "It should have just been me," she said quietly and bitterly. She was the one who dragged the charm out... it felt wrong that the others had died while she lived. They should have all escaped, and she should have been given the fate of eternal suffering. Instead, they were all paying for her mistake.

Yoshiki easily let go of her as she pulled away, just watching her curiously. Though, her dark expression didn't really tell him that she was okay, which was what he had hoped for. At her next comment, he couldn't keep quiet anymore. She shouldn't feel this way! It was never her fault! "No, don't say things like that," he said sternly with a sharp gaze, "It's not any of our faults. You didn't know... You _couldn't_ have known! So don't think that way, and never think you deserve that." She didn't need to be thinking this way... It was unhealthy, and could lead to something awful, if she let it take control of her. "You only had good intentions," he reminded her. She had only meant for them what the charm was told to do. It was kindness and wanting to put faith in Mayu that they would be friends forever that gave her the idea. She should never damn herself for that.

Ayumi knew Yoshiki didn't blame her. Satoshi, Naomi, and Yuka didn't feel any resentment towards her either, as far as she knew. But, that didn't make everything feel okay. "It doesn't matter if I didn't know... It doesn't matter if my intentions were good. The only thing that matters is the result," she responded, eyes looking down and away from him. "If I hadn't been around, it would have never happened," she said, hands gripping the sheets of the covers tightly. She was the cause to the effect... it put the blame on her shoulders.

Yoshiki sometimes hated her stubbornness and will to blame herself. It was ridiculous. "You know that's not true," he pointed out, trying to change her mind, even if it seemed hopeless, "And it especially doesn't make you deserve any sort of punishment. Besides, it's impossible to avoid bad things from happening. Yeah, if someone wasn't around, some things wouldn't happen, but it's just how life is. Things happen, without our control, or our knowing how our actions will play in the future. It's stupid to blame and damn yourself for this. It's a waste of your life, a life they wouldn't want you throwing away." He wasn't the best of words, and may only succeed in making her feel worse, but he couldn't just sit back and let this take control of her life. None of her friends wanted that, not even the ones who passed.

Ayumi's eyes stayed downward as he spoke. It was true, that her moping and blaming herself didn't change anything. Her desire to take the death upon herself to let the others free wasn't an option. What happened, happened. There was no such thing as having control of the past or definite knowledge of the future. She just wished it hadn't of happened. She'd give up anything to let those four live again. Unfortunately, life just didn't work that way. Also, she remembered Ms. Yui's last words to her... to be strong. She wasn't being very strong right now, was she? She was being pathetic and mopey... They'd want her to live life to its fullest, right? They don't blame her? "I... you're right... I'm sorry," she muttered, tears still slipping down her cheeks. It was a relief that they were falling. "This attitude isn't helping anything..." she sighed, her heart still aching in her chest.

Yoshiki watched her carefully and anxiously. Once she began to talk again, he sat back in relief, loosening his muscles once he noticed that he was so on edge. He smiled faintly, still sad for those gone, but happy Ayumi seemed to get his point. "I'm glad you understand...," he said quietly, glancing away. He gave a sigh as he stood, since she looked calmer now. She didn't need him around anymore, or so it appeared. He'd give her alone time to think, maybe go back to sleep now that she knew there was no point in blaming herself... That was a stretch, but he should still consider it and give her peace. "Well... if you need anything else, you know where I am," he said after a moment of silence, pushing a hand in his jacket pocket as he headed for the door.

Ayumi looked up, alert that he was standing up. It was a jolt realization that she didn't want to be alone. After he spoke, a sound escaped her mouth as she began to protest, but her rational side shut down the rest of the word. She shouldn't go pushing at the boundaries they had to keep up if they didn't want to screw up the friends with benefits deal. Plus, it was one thing to just have sex with him, but getting too emotional with him was probably crueler in terms of him liking her."Aah-alright... Thanks, Kishinuma," she said, trying to cover up the earlier sound. Plus, she was grateful. She felt somewhat better about herself, though her entire mood was still down in the pits.

Yoshiki paused at the noise, turning to look at her. What was she about to say?... Well, it seemed she just wanted to disregard it as she settled for a thanks. He smiled gently at her, just happy he had really helped out. "It's no problem... Anytime," he said before leaving, pulling the door almost shut, like it had been before. Hopefully, another nightmare wouldn't plague her... This day was enough on its own. To have dreams like that... It made it so much worse... Did she normally have those? The thought of her suffering by herself past years dragged his heart down, but he tried to move past the thought. He sat back down with a sigh, unsure if he'd drink anymore tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

Ayumi had been staying at her parents for a little less than three weeks. At this time, she had been spending a ridiculous amount of time on trains and a dreadful amount of time not getting laid. She told herself, besides the one night where she had been at the end of her rope, that she wasn't going to turn to Yoshiki. Even if his apartment was wondrously close to campus and blessed with the lack of parental supervision. Seriously, she was this close to losing it. Her parents monitoring her... their constant questions and babying her... It was pissing her off. Worse still, she had managed to be consistently late to all her classes because as efficient as the trains were, she always just missed getting to the one that would bring her to campus on time. Still, this was majorly breaking a line... even though the two hadn't been able to meet up for a while to enjoy each other's company. She missed being an independent college student who lived close to her classes and cafeteria.

Ayumi had been standing at the train station with all these thoughts running through her head. How bad would it be really to stay with him? She would be getting a new dorm room soon enough, too... hopefully. It was important to her academic career. Also, to her sanity. She turned heel as the train she would normally get on came up on the tracks. _'Nope! No more!'_ she thought as she left the train station. Now, she was standing outside Yoshiki's door, doubtful he was even home. Oooh, this was not one of her smarter plans. Ugh, was this cruel to do to him? To make them roommates while she knew he liked her? Well, technically she didn't know that. Just suspected... Did it matter? She had already gone far enough to sleep with him multiple times. She held her fist up to the door, sitting her hand on the wood for a moment. _'Please don't let this end badly,'_ she mentally pleaded the universe. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to knock.

Yoshiki had just returned from work, and was pretty much lying face down against the couch. Uuugh, he was exhausted... He prepared to just pass out on the sofa, but then a knock broke through his daze. He groaned lightly, forcing himself up and to walk over to the door. He opened it, a bit surprised to see Ayumi. "Uh, hey... What's up?" he asked, wondering what she was doing here. He wouldn't jump to sexual acts unless she texted him, so at times she just showed up at his door, he resumed acting like a normal friend.

Ayumi immediately regretted this choice because she wasn't sure how to ask this. "Okay, I'm about to ask you something that is probably crossing a line, but that's just because I'm this close to just sleeping on the street," Ayumi said quickly. It was an embarrassing request to ask, because she was asking if the two could live together. Though, who knows how often they'd even be around each other with their schedules... "Can I please stay with you? I can put money towards rent. It'd only be until my school reassigns me a dorm room and I'll stay out of your way, I swear."

Yoshiki blinked at her, wondering a little while she was making such a big deal out of it. Yeah, it was a little contrary to the basis of the rules they had set up, but it wasn't like she was staying here for any romantic reason. He'd like to tell her she didn't have to pay rent, but she would probably insist, and he just didn't feel like stubborn argument. "That's fine. We're still _friends_, remember? I'll help out if you ever need it," he said, trying to remind her that she had said that nothing else would change between them. He still wanted to be a friend, one she could count on and trust. He moved to let her in, holding in a tired yawn.

For some reason, she did sort of forget that detail. Yeah... they were friends. Still, though, he was a boy. Asking a boyfriend for this favor would have been a lot less awkward... guys and girls rarely lodged together for reasons other than romantic relationships. "Ah, right. Thanks... I really appreciate it," she said sincerely, hoping he realized that this was a lifeline in a very undesirable situation right now. She stepped into the apartment, noticing his refrain from yawning. Well, it didn't seem like they would be engaging in anything. It was probably for the best, but she was still a little disappointed. It had felt like a long time since they met up. Though, Yoshiki was always in such a state of exhaustion that she wondered if it was ultimately better for him to not having her distract him from sleep. She glanced around the apartment, still feeling unsure of herself. The entire situation hopefully wouldn't be too awkward, considering they had slept with each other and have seen all of one another. Surely that would take out any uncomfortableness for them?

Yoshiki nodded at her thanks, shutting the door after she was in and locked it. "Anytime, right?" he added, moving past her because he desperately wanted sleep. But he stopped, noticing he should probably make a few statements, if she was staying for more than one night. He turned, glancing around before starting. "Uh, well... Since you'll be staying for a while, I guess, I'll tell you the basics... You can help yourself to anything I have, food-wise, and the bathroom is the door besides my bedroom, of course... And sorry I don't have a guestroom or something like that... I don't really like forcing you on the couch, but I'm not exactly willing to give up my bed. Oh, and... since our schedules don't really match up, I'll ask the landlord if I can have another key made, and maybe get it to you tomorrow. If you get out of school before I get you a key, just come by work, which is... the music store nearest to here. I would give you better directions, but I'm... just _really _tired," he admitted after the long explanation.

Ayumi nodded lightly as he reminded her 'anytime.' She had no reason to doubt those words, since she was pretty sure every time she called upon him for something, he complied. She watched him curiously as he explained the go-arounds of the apartment. She would probably try to buy her own food to go to, though most the time she ate meals on campus. She was glad he wasn't trying the 'chivalrous' bit of giving up his bed to her. She would stay on the couch, she was pretty sure. Except for maybe the nights they slept together... if they were even doing that anymore. Honestly, it would probably be better to refrain from that stuff while she was actually living there. The mention of the key suddenly just solidified the fact she was staying there in her mind... though, if anything, she was just couch crashing. She had no intention of making this place her home. She wasn't positive where the music store was, but she was sure some music students she talked to could probably tell her. Either that, or she did have her laptop for directions. She nodded, giving a small smile. "Alright, understood. Go enjoy your sleep," she told him, letting him dismiss himself from further conversation.

Yoshiki smiled tiredly at her, nodding without further conversation. Today had been particularly tiring... He couldn't really think of much, except the fact his bed sounded really nice about now. He turned and left Ayumi to her own devices, shutting his door behind him and finally letting his yawn out. He shoved off his socks, shoes, and shirt before just collapsing into the bed. He only had the energy to turn on his alarm, not even caring to throw the covers on at this. Within minutes, he was sound asleep. In his weary state, he didn't think of any problems coming from this arrangement.

* * *

Ayumi had been living at Yoshiki's place for a few days now, and it was working out pretty well. They so far managed to stay out of each other's ways, though Ayumi tried to spend more time at the library so she wasn't constantly at his place. It was a little embarrassing to realize how much time she spent in her dorm room... she was a Sophomore and hardly had any friends. She only talked to people in class, they never met up. Of course, Ayumi had found a seething jealousy for a lot of artist friends who had so much more skill than her.

She sat cross-legged on the couch, a large sketchbook in hand and a pile of different pencils sitting next to her. On the table was a bunch of fruit in a bowel. A sophomore and she was still doing still-life pictures... the basics were important, but she found herself getting frustrated that she couldn't replicate life in her pictures. She had been determined to get the assignment done today, but as she drew, she found herself becoming frustrated. Pieces of crumpled up paper piled around her as she kept discarding her work.

Yoshiki entered the house, closing the door behind him and met with the sight of Ayumi and her many crumpled papers. He gave a curious look, unable to mind his own business. "Hey... what're you up to?" he asked with interest, removing his jacket and draping it on the back of a chair. He moved around her, leaning against the couch to get a look at what she was working on. As far as he could tell, it looked good, but since he wasn't the same kind of artist, he could bet his opinion didn't mean much.

Ayumi was so involved in her failing pictures that she didn't notice Yoshiki until he spoke. She blinked, looking up to see him standing behind the couch. "Well, I was working on an assignment to do a still-life picture. We're only supposed to use granite and give yourself about forty-five minutes to do it," she explained with a flat look. Still-life pictures were horribly boring to draw, for the most part. It could be a bit more fun when colors were involved, but just granite wasn't her cup of tea. "Although, right now I'm reflecting on my life choices," she grumbled as she looked back down as her half-finished sketch. She hated not being proud of anything she was drawing, it made her feel like a failure. She shut the sketchbook, giving up on finishing it at the moment.

Yoshiki kept his eyes on her work. That is, until she shut the sketchbook due to frustration. He frowned lightly, eyes glancing at her. Ayumi had always wanted to be an artist... It's what she liked doing, something she had spent a long time on, and she was good at it. He wondered what sparked this feeling in her... Though he guessed he sort of understood. He often thought his ability to play guitar was mediocre at best. Especially now that he had no time to devote to practicing. But this was Ayumi's dream job. She couldn't really be doubting it this much..."Why? You're good at drawing, and you enjoy it... You've pretty much just started practicing professionally, so not everything will turn out how you think it should the first few tries. If it did, then what would be the point of practicing?" he asked with a raised brow. She really was destined to be an artist... He didn't want her giving up so early on something she loved.

Ayumi was a little surprised he was once again trying to shift her mood to a better place. She used him for sex, and now was she using him to comfort her as well? She didn't really want to think about it too much... She understood what he was saying, and appreciated the compliment. "It's not that... I don't think I'll ever stop drawing, but I really think I should consider changing my major. Everyone else in my field, for the most part, is just... so much better than me naturally," she said with a sad sigh. It was jaw-dropping and disheartening at the same time to see her fellow classmate's art. "I feel like some people are just born with the ability to make great art, and I wasn't born with it," she tried to explain. She didn't have the natural ability... so she was never going to catch up with those who do.

Yoshiki listened to her side of the story, but wasn't agreeing with her. "There are always people that will be better... It's like life's challenge, to try harder and keep getting better," he tried to explain, again combating her stubbornness with his own. "And maybe some _are_ born with it... but that doesn't mean that those who aren't can't be just as good. It just depends on how passionate you are about what you do," he told her with a confident tone. She couldn't give up... It wasn't the Ayumi he knew.

That was true... she could either get discouraged or use it as fuel that those around her displayed more skill. Getting discouraged zapped her energy and drive, leaving her feeling like crap. It would be hard to be able to find it motivating, but it was at least worth a try to change her perspective. She looked up at Yoshiki, a small smile tugging onto her lips. "I never knew you were such an optimistic person, Kishinuma," she remarked. Of course, it was always easier to be optimistic about someone else's life... She couldn't say she ever really saw Yoshiki get discouraged himself, though it wasn't like he wore his heart on his sleeve.

Yoshiki regained his smile when her own mood seemed to brighten, but he was sort of surprised when she noted his optimism. He shifted his weight back to his feet, moving a hand to rub the back of his neck. "Uh, well... I just didn't want you to give up your dream," he explained somewhat shyly. It was strange he still felt like this around her sometimes, even after all the sex. He assumed it to be because their relationship still had no feelings past friendship. "But... I guess I generally don't think negatively... Otherwise I would've given up at this point," he added after a moment of thinking about it. He specifically meant living on his own, but it had a duel meaning of his crush on her. Though, having hope in that department was involuntary and unwanted.

Ayumi felt uncertain how to approach his caring for her and her ambitions. Yes, they were friends, but she wasn't really sure where the lines were anymore. Between their sexual acts, their actual friendship, their temporary status as roommates, and his most-likely having a crush on her... their conversations felt hard to read through the layers anymore. As he explained his positive views, it made sense. Leaving home as a freshman to make your way in the world must have been difficult. It would have been easy to give up and spend his entire life angry and moping. "That makes sense..." she said after a thoughtful pause. Her mind went back to thinking about where they stood, though she suddenly became alarmed that she even cared. At the end of it, they were just supposed to be friends. Nothing else mattered, any residual feelings floating around the arrangement would disappear once the sex stopped. "Hey, how tired are you?" Ayumi suddenly asked as she looked at him curiously. He seemed okay, but it was always hard to gauge how he was actually feeling. Plus, despite popular belief, it wasn't like guys were constantly turned on and ready to go.

Yoshiki went silent afterword, feeling their conversation sizzling out. It may have turned awkward, but he was glad he was able to help her. He didn't really want to see her giving up doing what she loved... He looked at her as she spoke up again, blinking at her for a moment. He was pretty certain he knew why she was asking, so he had to think about if he should really continue this... Uh, he was in too deep to even have the will to lie and skip it. Plus, since they were roommates, he couldn't even relieve himself, so he felt pretty tense... Ah, what a shallow reason... "I actually feel good today... Work was pretty slow," he answered casually, as if he didn't have in mind what she did.

Ayumi smiled slyly at his casual answer. She found she normally had to initiate things with Yoshiki, like he was too nervous to ever start things on his own. Although, it was probably less about nervousness and more about... eh, her possible rejection? She wasn't really sure, she just knew she had to make the first move. She tossed her sketchbook on the table alongside the fruit bowel. She'd have to pick up all the paper she left strewn about in her frustrations, but that would take a minute. It had felt like forever since she had gotten relief. When she had stayed at home, she wasn't willing to try anything because of the potential mortifying walk-in. She walked around the couch so the two could actually meet without the back of the couch in their way. This may be more dangerous now that they were living together, but Ayumi didn't put much thought into those concerns. "Mm, is that so?" Ayumi asked with a seductive look. One hand moved on his shoulder and the other moved south. She leaned up to meet his lips, her tongue moving into his mouth with more force than she normally used. It had been a while, and she was eager.

Yoshiki watched her toss the sketchbook to the side and get up. He kind of wanted her to finish her project, but... it really had been a while. First she had been with her parents, which made their schedules impossible to match up, but then he had been able at least get himself off. Then she moved in, which had been... three or four days? And he guessed since she actually had to stay over, she was hesitant about starting something. So, yeah, he wasn't going to pass this up. As she approached and officially started things up, he could already tell she was exceptionally eager... Well, he'd make sure she was satisfied. The dominance to their kiss flip-flopped as he grabbed her waist and moved her up onto the back of the couch. One hand stayed relatively in the same place, occasionally moving down to her thigh, while the other traveled up her shirt. Even though they had known each other like this for a while, he still couldn't get enough of the feeling of her body... Just moving along her curves was enough to set him off.

There was something about him taking dominance of the kiss that managed to turn her on more, if that was possible at this point. Ayumi was glad they were in sync as they moved to start foreplay, it made the entire thing easier to enjoy. She had no complaints as he positioned her on the back of the couch, the feeling of his hand on her thigh made her fall deeper into this trance. Actually, the feeling of his skin on her's in general had that effect. She moved her hand up to begin taking off his shirt. She didn't mind keeping clothes on for sex when it was a quickie or just if it was just too time-consuming, but she loved the feeling of skin-on-skin contact.

Yoshiki's hand moved further up, slipping under her bra to caress her breast. Though, since this hadn't happened in a while, he was getting impatient and didn't stimulate it much before moving to unhook the bra. His hand came back down enough to grab the edge of her shirt, their kiss finally having to be broken as he pushed it off over head, and then slipped her bra straps from her shoulders. It was obvious he was eager too, as before the pieces of clothing reached the floor, his lower hand was already unzipping her skirt.

Ayumi moaned lightly in the back of her throat at his hand on her tit, spikes of arousal flowing their her. She enjoyed foreplay, she really did, but for moments like this when she was already turned on and ready to go, she was glad Yoshiki was moving quickly. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders, thankful for the button-up design and briefly considering wearing those types of shirts more often in the future. She shuddered lightly as her skin was exposed to the air, though she was too heated up to feel a chill. As his hand went to unzip her skirt, her hand slipped down to undo his pants. Once undone, she tugged his pants and boxers down enough to expose his dick.

Yoshiki was thankful he was freed from the fabric of his pants, but it made him feel more rushed to get into the real act. Once unzipped and he got a hold of both the waistband of her skirt and panties, he moved them down enough to wear they'd slide down to the floor on their own. He brought himself closer to her once everything was out of their way, closing most gaps between them. He resumed their deep kiss while he moved her sideways slightly, one hand supporting her weight by her waist and the other lifting her leg over his shoulder as a means of spreading her out. Once he knew for sure he was against her opening, he entered her. It was then he remembered just how great this felt, and how much his body had missed it. For now, he actually had good control of his breathing as he picked up a good, quick pace. If there was one thing he knew, though, it was that composure wouldn't last.

Ayumi was breathing heavily as all the clothes were out of their way, and he began to move her in preparation. She was a little surprised at the new position, since she had been pretty sure up to this point he didn't really know anything besides the typical positions... Though, this had probably just been an adjustment in the moment rather than something he read or learned. Ayumi was overwhelmed in anticipation as he angled himself. It had really been too long since they had done it... She was going to miss this stuff when they finally called it quits to the benefits part of the relationship, but she was too into the moment to give that much thought. She cried out in pleasure as he filled her, her walls tight around him. Her breathing quickly became erratic, but she kept her participation in the deep kiss, his tongue only adding to the marvelous sensations tingling down her spine. Her hips began to rock against him on their own volition, the feeling was just too good. She didn't know how they had managed to take so long a break.

Yoshiki gained a quicker pace, encouraged by her moans and rocking hips. Eventually, he couldn't keep the interaction between their tongues going, separating gasp and groan. Because of their break, he wasn't lasting as long as usual. He wouldn't able to hold it back long... He could only give her a few more deep thrusts before stalling, an amazing, familiar jolt of pleasure going throughout him as he released inside. He panted a moment, tired, but prepared to keep going if she didn't find the same relief. Even if she had come as he was, he still chastised himself for not being able to longer until he was sure. He hated not getting her there... Manly pride and all, along with the desire to please her.

Ayumi mentally cursed as he came. It felt great, the feeling of hot cum filling her was a huge turn-on, but it was too soon for her to get the same release. She had forgotten the detail that he was more sensitive at this point, given the period of time they hadn't been able to do this. She wasn't close enough to ride to completion on his semi-stiff dick, so she wasn't going to try. It was a bit disappointing, but it was nothing new to her. Guys had an easier time reaching climax than girls. It was pretty much to be expected that this would happen at some point. Ayumi shifted a little, a hand moving on his chest in a way to stop him from trying to continue. She didn't actually want to say 'I'm not going to finish,' because she didn't actually want to damage his pride that much.

Yoshiki shared the mental curse, feeling awful about being unable to get her to her climax. While it was bound to happen eventually, and they had actually been pretty lucky with it up until this point, he still felt the sting of disappointment in himself. It wasn't really... pride... He just didn't like generally leaving her unsatisfied. By her command, he pulled out, looking at her apologetically as he shifted her leg to a more normal position. "Sorry... Next round for sure..," he told her with determination through heavy breaths. He wouldn't leave her hanging, even if he was on the verge of passing out. It wasn't fair, and he had enough experience to know that finishing yourself wasn't nearly as good.

Ayumi crossed her legs as it was moved back into typical position. She didn't care so much about keeping his cum in her, rather she didn't want it leaking onto his couch. She looked at him neutrally. That... sounded familiar. By the end the entire balance of their sexual relationship was in favor of Keitaro, though he always promised to make it up to her. He never did. "A word from the wise:" she warned in a casual manner, "never make a promise involved with things of this nature." Though, so far they had been doing great and this could be chalked up to the long break's fault. Promising release was risky business in general given... well, everything.

Yoshiki looked at her quietly, feeling a little challenged by her skepticism. He raised a brow at her, gaining his natural, familiar smirk. "Wise from what experience? Keitaro?" he asked in slight amusement, but underneath was a bit peeved at being put as Keitaro's equal, or thought to be the same. "We're not the same. C'mon, I'll show you I always mean what I say," he told her with confidence, offering her a hand to get her down. It wasn't necessary, but it just seemed fitting.

"_Yes_, from Keitaro. I'm well versed enough in this to have a good idea how the rest of the night is going to go," Ayumi commented with a small pout. She wasn't really sure why, but whenever Keitaro was quick, the pattern continued on to her frustration. She looked at him skeptically, surprised but unconvinced by his confidence. If he put too much pressure on himself, he wouldn't even be able to get it up, she could bet. She was just predicting the rest of the night to go downhill. But, she'd give him the opportunity to try and prove he was somehow different than Keitaro. She looked at her hand for a moment before taking it to help her down from the couch. "Fine, let's see how different you two really are," she mumbled as she ran a hand through her disheveled bangs.

Yoshiki glanced at her with a crooked smile, finding her adamant doubt somewhat unfounded."Well versed with one person, maybe," he commented, finding the facts and what she was saying conflicted. How could she be well versed and wise with an experience total of one guy? Especially when sticking what she knew to him. He was confident he cared for her more, and was _certain_ his affection had lasted longer... Though, he wasn't sure if he was proud or shamed by that, given how hopeless a situation it had always been. He narrowed his eyes with a smirk as she gave in and took his hand to move her down, pretty sure she'd be the one to be proved wrong.

* * *

Ayumi's breathing was completely all over the place as she recovered from her orgasm. It seemed Yoshiki was indeed a man of his word, though she wasn't so sure she'd verbally praise him, since that entailed her to admitting her own mindset had been wrong. She glanced over at him, pretty sure he had passed out at this point. The warmth radiating around her center was a bit more overwhelming than usual... probably just a result of the stalling and building. It was weird, she always filed Yoshiki under the impression of 'typical guy,' because he had always seemed to be that kind of person to her. He was proving himself different... at least from Keitaro. She blinked, tiredness making her feel weak. She really should go back to the couch... but what was the point? They lived together so they would still see each other in the morning, and his bed was so warm and comfortable. It wasn't like they were cuddling. It would be fine.


	6. Chapter 6

Yoshiki had been surprised, at the very least, a few days ago when he woke and actually found that he wasn't alone. Even now, he was still pretty confused, and wanted to stay away from thinking she may like him. That only made it hurt worse when reality came knocking, which it always did. So, he tried his best to think nothing of it, past the skip in his heart at her being so close when his eyes opened. It was... nice, of course, but that's why Ayumi had probably avoided doing it up until now. She didn't want there to be warm feelings, only hot moments. She didn't want anything past friendship, with the added satisfaction of sex. So he'd... he'd pretend it hadn't happened.

Besides that, today was a celebrating day for Satoshi and his brand new fiance, since they had all been available in the afternoon. It was like normal hanging out with adults, first they ate out, and once night rolled around, they'd become more like the rest of their age group. Though, instead of a club, this time it was more like a bar with some dancing mixed in. Though, he really didn't feel like dancing, it wasn't his thing. So, he resigned himself to drinking while the two lovers embarrassingly got their dance on. He just sat at their table with a drink, mostly sloshing it around with the occasional small gulp.

Ayumi was out of her element in a bar like this. Actually, she had been out of her element at the club too. She figured the only reason Naomi and Satoshi were so eager to go to them was because the two got lost in each other, and the actually scene didn't matter. Just the music and them. It was probably nice... even in their best moments, Keitaro and her had never been so in sync or lost in each another. She was off on the side of the bar ordering a drink, though she was hopefully limiting herself to just a nice buzz. She wasn't a very graceful drunk, and she didn't want to get sloppy. As she waited for the Strawberry Daiquiri she ordered to be done. She glanced over to where Yoshiki was seated, a weird jolt hitting her when she realized Ren near him. She was saying something... but she couldn't hear the conversation over the noise of the bar.

"Hey, I was wondering if you'd be interested in a dance," Ren said in her most flirty way as a hand rested on his forearm.

Yoshiki had been minding his own business, and would've liked for it to stay that way, but he was then approached by a girl. One completely unfamiliar to him. He glanced up at her, not feeling anything toward her advances, not even her touch. This was the curse of his affection... He could never get interested in girls who seemed that way about him. It was enough to drive him mad, but he could do nothing more than comply with it. After all, he still... loved Ayumi."Er, sorry, I don't really want to," he said in refusal. He wished he could move away from her hand, but that felt incredibly harsh, and after he told her no, he assumed she'd remove it herself.

Ayumi's attention was pulled away for a moment as the bartender handed her the drink she ordered. She forced a polite smile, thanking and paying the person. She held the drink in her hand, eyes moving back to Ren and Yoshiki. She felt... really angry. Though, she wanted to chalk that up to the fact Ren had to keep putting her grubby hands on- Eck... well, this wasn't the same, was it? Yoshiki wasn't' hers, despite what they may do together. It was tempting to go up and snap at Ren to piss off... but, she found herself curious to what Yoshiki may do.

"Aw, c'mon, one little dance won't hurt," Ren continued to insist with an overly-sweet smile.

Yoshiki mentally groaned at her persistent. He didn't like rejecting people... It wasn't one of those easy things... but it was necessary. "I really don't want to," he told her adamantly, guessing he'd have to make his point. He brushed off her hand, despite how rude or harsh it seemed. "_Sorry_," he repeated with emphasis, to get it across that he could tell she was flirting, and was refusing her advances as well.

Ayumi watched Yoshiki sweep away Ren's hand, and she was... relieved? Why? Well, it was nice to know one of her closest friends wouldn't be interested in Ren. That's why she had to be happy about it. She took a sip of her drink, watching as Ren didn't seem to understand the word 'no.' Now knowing she wasn't interrupting, she took herself and her drink over to the two. "Hi, Ren, shouldn't you be with Abe?" Ayumi greeted her ex-roommate with a small sneer.

Ren was just about to continue to insist they dance, despite his rejections. He was too cute to pass up. Her cute, flirty demeanor died and changed to horror as she heard Ayumi's voice. "Oh, Ayumi... hi," she said awkwardly, glancing at Yoshiki in worry. Was this her boyfriend or something? "Uh, we're not... doing that anymore," she answered with an awkward shrug. "You know... you can move back in," she suddenly said, trying to be friendly.

"I'll pass, I'm happier as is," Ayumi told her flatly. The two looked at each other, Ayumi's eyes narrowed and Ren's furrowed in concern.

"Ah... right..." Ren responded awkwardly, glancing aside.

Yoshiki was a little confused as she kept hanging around, but almost felt like shrinking back into his seat when Ayumi came around. Almost like he felt like she was coming over to scold him, even though he was saying no to this girl and.., he guessed more importantly, they weren't going out. When she first spoke, he was wondering why she'd be talking with a sort of hidden malice. Was she... jealous? He quickly erased the thought with panic of hope rising, and the mention of Keitaro. This must have been a personal issue with this Ren girl... As he listened further, he gathered that it was her ex-roommate. This thing with Keitaro and Ren... was it why Ayumi had sought a different place to live? He was still clueless on the details, as Ayumi had never told him, and he had never asked... After all, it wasn't his business at all. But it had to have something to do with a possible relationship between Ren and Keitaro... He glanced between the two, hoping he wouldn't be caught in the middle of a cat fight. After all, girls held grudges... for, like, ever...

"So, do you want something?" Ayumi challenged, not seeing why Ren just wouldn't walk off. There was no reason for her to stick around the two. Yoshiki had apparently said no to her, and Ayumi was certainly no fan of hers. Ayumi sat in the bar stool next to Yoshiki, looking at Ren expectantly.

Ren paused, glancing at Yoshiki and back to Ayumi. "Ah, sorry I didn't realize you two-"

"We're not," Ayumi cut off quickly, not wanting her to finish that question. "He's a friend, and he doesn't seem very interested in you, so why don't you just walk away?" Ayumi said with venom. She didn't like Ren... She was two-faced and had no loyalty. She wasn't interested in ever continuing a friendship, so she burned the bridge with no hesitation.

Ren looked insulted by Ayumi, but didn't seem ready or willing to argue. It just wasn't worth it... there were other guys around the bar. She just shot Ayumi a look before turning and walking off.

After Ren finally left, Yoshiki glanced to Ayumi with his brows furrowed. "That was... a little harsh, don't you think?" he wondered aloud. While he had been annoyed by her persistent flirting, being bold wasn't something to be particularly chastised for. When it was a girl with a guy, anyways. When guys were persistent, it for some reason turned creepy. Well, anyways, he kind of felt bad for Ren, because she didn't seem so bad. Then again, he didn't know her like Ayumi may. After all, they were- err, used to be dorm-mates.

"People don't learn unless you're harsh," Ayumi said with a shrug as she took a sip of her drink. Maybe she had been too quick to turn against Ren, but it just didn't seem right. Would a real friend, someone who was genuinely concerned about you, go out or hook up with an ex? She could have at least asked... Ayumi would have probably given her the okay, just out of not wanting to seem bitter. "Besides, why do you care if I was short with her?" Ayumi asked him flatly, unsure why, but the concern irritated her.

Yoshiki guessed that was somewhat true... But still, it wasn't necessary... He looked at Ayumi as she gave her own question, which was sort of hard to answer. "Well... I guess it's because she didn't look like a bad person," he answered casually, taking a drink. He had to be careful not to say 'she didn't look bad', because then it sounded like he was somewhat into her. He didn't know why, but it just felt weird, since while they weren't in a relationship, being with anyone else still felt like cheating...

Ayumi raised an eyebrow at Yoshiki, a fire in the pit of her stomach. "Of course you wouldn't think so, she was _fawning_ after you," Ayumi noted with a small, irritated scoff. She didn't really know why this entire thing was giving her such a bad attitude. It had to just be Ren... and Yoshiki's weird decision to try and stand up for her. She looked at the contents of her drink, realizing there was only another mouthful left. Huh... she normally took much longer to get through a full drink. She mentally shrugged away the fact as she drank the rest of the drink before placing it on the counter.

Yoshiki looked at her flatly, irritated that his words had still been turned on him. He didn't mean that, she just seemed... normal to him. In other words, she didn't seem like a bitch deserving of a cold shoulder. "It's not that. I don't _like_ being flirted with," he admitted as he glanced to the side, taking another drink, "Even when she was talking to you, she seemed okay." Then again, that might have been because she was frightened of Ayumi... Really, he didn't have a good look at her character in these short minutes, but saying she was nice would be more accurate of a guess than her being unpleasant.

Ayumi looked unconvinced by him claiming he didn't like being flirted with. Everyone liked it to some degree... it just mattered if you were actually interested in the person flirting with you or if you're a narcissistic. "Tch, that's because she feels guilty," she grumbled as she waved over the bartender to get another drink."She's two-faced and someone I'm not interested in associating with anymore," Ayumi explained, seemingly unaffected by 'breaking up' with her roommate of almost two years.

"Hey, cutie, what're you doing just sitting around at the bar? You should be dancing~" A feminine, slightly slurred voice of an attractive woman suddenly cut into whatever conversation the two may of been having. Ayumi turned her head, the fire in the bit of her stomach flaring as the girl moved a hand onto Yoshiki's thigh. She turned to the bartender and ordered a lemon drop shot.

Yoshiki would've argued that if she feels guilty, then she shouldn't be that bad of a person, but there were several reasons he didn't. One, he didn't know what happened between them, it was none of his business to deem her nice or mean. Two, it didn't really matter, what was said was in the past, and Ren was already gone. And three, and probably the most important part, some other girl butted her way over to him, and into their conversation. He glanced away, feeling this girl was much bolder than Ren... and wreaked more of alcohol. "No thanks, I'm good, really. I don't want to," he answered firmly, taking his eyes back to her so she'd get that he was being serious and moving her hand. To Ayumi, is was probably becoming obvious why he had been a virgin. He denied everyone and anyone. Did that... make his feelings too obvious? He mentally cursed at this realization, but it couldn't be helped... The damage was already done, and he still wasn't remotely interest in other girls, enough to even fake-accept her advances.

Ayumi watched from the corner of her eye as the girl dejectedly walked away at Yoshiki's very firm, and actually somewhat harsh rejection. Not that she could blame him, especially since the girl seemed drunk. Anything but firmness would be taken as playing hard to get. As her lemon drop was handed to her, she held it for a moment before taking the shot. The alcohol burned her stomach, but did nothing to relieve the annoyance and bitterness in her system. If anything, it almost felt like it added fuel to the fire. She raised her hand, the bartender seemingly getting the message as they began to make another. This feeling, whatever it may be, needed to go away. Yoshiki was free to fuck and do whatever he wanted to any of these girls throwing themselves at him... The thought didn't help her. This had to be some fluke, because... there was no way she was actually jealous. Jealousy meant that she felt like she had some claim over Yoshiki and that... that she may like him. Which wasn't the case, it couldn't be.

* * *

Yoshiki sighed tiredly as he and Ayumi started their walk back to his apartment. The night had went by pretty much the same... He kept getting bothered by increasingly drunk women, and had to reject them, while worrying over the amount of alcohol Ayumi had kept downing. She had insisted she was okay, though, so he could do nothing more about it. Anyways, they had stayed a few more hours, so it was pretty late when they all had decided to head back home. Even if she had said she was fine, though, he wouldn't stop keep watch over her. After all... her stumbling around wasn't very convincing...

When they got home, he shut and locked the door, feeling pretty worn out after their day out."You should probably get to bed... Do you want any water, first?" he asked with concern as he turned to face her. He didn't really want her suffering a hangover in the morning.

Ayumi had quickly lost track of the amount of drinks she had consumed, triggered by the women parading over to Yoshiki. Trying to get their grubby hands on her Yoshiki... she couldn't stand it, but she also couldn't make a scene. Her self control was exercised greatly, as she kept in mind Satoshi and Naomi's presence. By the time the door had finally closed behind them as they returned home, she was no longer willing or capable of holding back anymore. As he turned to her, his concern touching and triggering even more emotions. She moved forward, burying her head into his chest as her arms wrapped around him possessively. She mumbled something against him that was made inaudible between being muffled and slurred.

Yoshiki was taken off guard as she moved into him, his heart doing that annoying jump. She made some sort of noise, but he couldn't really hear her. D-did she just want to have sex, her way of saying it a little more sloppy due to the alcohol? He assumed so, but this more innocent closeness was throwing his demeanor out the window and his cheeks began to grow hot. "Er, Sh-Shinozaki, sorry... I, uh, have... work in the morning...," he tried to explain, and resist the urge to hold onto her back.

Ayumi looked up at him with a confused stare. In her drunken state, it was hard to process what he meant. Instead of trying to figure it out, though, she ignored what he said. "You're mine," she stated as he grip on him tightened. "Those other girls..." she began to say, her eyes narrowing at the the thought of all of them trying to attract him... touching him... it made her stomach burn unpleasantly. "They're not allowed near you..." she mumbled sloppily as she nuzzled against him. The thought of her rules, all those lines she had tried to draw, were cast aside.

Yoshiki's eyes widened at her as she seemingly claimed him. Even though it seemed unusually possessive, he found that it only flustered him further. What was... she saying? This was her own rule... that they weren't supposed to get jealous over the other... Not that he minded her tight grip on him... But, he couldn't tell what he should do... She was drunk, so she had an excuse to be clingy... Right? He found all this confusing, and he didn't want himself to fall victim to hope again... But with her talking like this... it was hard not to believe that she actually had been jealous. That she actually... felt more for him than she let on... He found that he was at a loss for words, stuck on what to say. What to do, as well, as his arms was torn between staying still and wrapping around her.

Ayumi felt a little bit of distress as he didn't respond, confirming that he was hers. He had rejected all those girls at the bar, though, so he had to be loyal to her, right? "Yoshiki's mine..." she said in a whisper as she leaned up to gently press her lips against his. She pulled back a little, keeping the gesture innocent. "And... I'm Yoshiki's..." she added with a flushed face. She took claim over him, and so she was letting him take claim over her as well. He was so sweet and good to her... all the other factors that had kept her from doing this before didn't even enter her mind. She just wanted to be with Yoshiki. In the sense that they've been together, but also being able to be so much more.

Yoshiki looked in her eyes as she repeated her claim, unprepared for the gentle kiss. This... was more like how he imagined being with Ayumi... This warmth, instead of heat... He somehow cherished it more, and it made his face flare up more than her seduction. At her next statement, he couldn't hold back a flustered, quiet noise of bewilderment. She... was his... His heart jumped, and couldn't keep back his hope from flooding his mind. She was drunk... he shouldn't fall victim to his own desires... But he couldn't help it anymore. "Yeah... I'm yours...," he finally answered, leaning forward to set his forehead against hers. "I... always have been," he admitted with a small, pathetic laugh, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

Ayumi's eyes lit up at his answer, leaning into the touch of his forehead. She smiled lovingly as she felt his arms wrapped back around her. It made her heart skip and her body warm more than the alcohol had. That jealous bitterness in her stomach finally dissolved as it felt right and true to belong to one another. He was so warm, and she was happy to be with him in a completely nonsexual way. "And you always will be?" she questioned quietly, wanting the knowledge that she didn't have to worry about him cheating or leaving her for someone else. That their ties to each other was so much more than most people's.

Yoshiki admired that new smile, yearning to see it again and again. He had to say... all of this wasn't something he had expected at all, but he was really loving it. He... liked this more than the other night, when they had started the whole 'friends with benefits' thing. "Mm... That's right," he answered without hesitation, smiling gently at her. If he had no affection for any other girl for four years, he could bet that's how it would stay. Especially now that he could... actually be with her. "I'll love you... forever," he told her before giving her another soft kiss, then moved back to look at her. He may have to felt this strongly before Heavenly Host... But all that mattered was how he felt now, how he had grown to love her more than anyone else.

Ayumi felt a warmth spread from her heart at his smile and sweet words. This was all that mattered, how she felt about him. How he made her heart jump in ways no other person had ever managed. The word 'love' stalled her for a moment before she realized with giddiness that's what she had been feeling. She kept falling back to Yoshiki because that's what she wanted, even if she had been too blind to see it. She enjoyed the touch of the kiss, the softness was completely different in nature than the way they've been together before. "I'll love you forever, too," she said with a shy smile. It was the first time she said the phrase and meant it. It felt... nice, really nice. She wanted to say it a million times and hear it from him just as much.

Yoshi let out a shaky, soft laugh, overwhelmed with joy at this development, as his love-fogged mind saw it. If he was thinking rationally, he wouldn't be falling victim to this, because he should know how it was going to end if this followed the pattern of the rest of his life. But, he was too naive, his desperate heart only listening to what it wanted to. And it was listening to her slurred voice tell him that she loved him, like he had felt for her all these years. He was successfully trapped, and there was no way out besides a knife to his clinging heart.

* * *

The sunlight peeking in from the curtains hurt her head. The wave of nausea hitting her as she joined the waking world was overwhelming. Why was she in so much pain? She shut her eyes, taking heavy breaths as she tried to keep the sick feeling down. She peeked one eye open to glance around the room. There was a glass of water and some pain killer next to her on the bed-stand that she didn't think twice about taking. She slowly drank the entire glass before she realized... she was in Yoshiki's room? Did they-

Ayumi placed the glass aside as she shot out of bed, the aching pain in her head be damned. "Shit, shit, shit, shit," she began to mutter as the night came crashing back. 'I'll love you forever!? What the fuck was I think!?' she thought in a panic. Dammit, what had she even been thinking to say those things to him? And, oh god, Yoshiki had confessed too. This was bad, all very bad. This could not happen. She had to get out, stop any of this from progressing any further. They weren't going to get together, they weren't going to live together, and they weren't in love! It was just a stupid, overly affectionate drunk's words. She had to get all her stuff and leave.

Luckily, it seemed like Yoshiki was at work. She didn't know where she'd go. She just knew she had to get far away from this place before Yoshiki returned home. Any emotions felt by her was just residual from the sex... Ugh, she should have known this was going to happen. A friends with benefits thing only really works if both the people are pretty indifferent to one another. But, Yoshiki's... well, he's been in love with her. The thought made her stomach churn. This was so bad... she couldn't see him anymore for anything. She couldn't. This had to end right now, at this point. He shouldn't have gotten wrapped up in her lies. She scoured the apartment, grabbing anything that was her's and throwing it into the bag she had brought. She didn't bother doing a second sweep, because she didn't care. She could buy anything she had forgotten. She threw her bag over her shoulder and was about to leave. She stopped pulling a key out of her pocket. Her eyes narrowed at it.

"This should have never happened," she said about the entire thing. It was all a mistake. She dropped the key on the table before turning to leave, the door slamming behind her.

* * *

Yoshiki... had been in a stupidly good mood. Though... the more his day went on, the more the voice in the back of his head screamed at him. What was he doing, really? Trusting in the words of a drunk Ayumi about their future together? He didn't put too much negative thought into, though... He was too giddy because he had always been desperate for her. He grasped for any sign of mutual feelings, like a pathetic idiot... Ha, like one? No, he was one...

When he got home, it was quiet, and... empty. Something clawed painfully in his chest, but he still chose to be ignorant and pretend she was just at school... or out doing something... Of course, it became evident fast that he couldn't play dumb. Her stuff was gone, save for a few random, unimportant items. He was just on the brink of panic when he spotted her extra key on the counter. That... sealed the deal. He slowly stepped forward, taking the key and stumbling backward until he fell onto the couch. He looked at it with burning eyes, his heart heavy and aching, while his more rational, and wise half screamed at him. The side that knew how the world worked, and knew how empty his life had always been.

How could he have expected anything more? It was ridiculous, that he had fallen victim a second time, this one more painful and something he chastised himself for. Why did he believe words poisoned by alcohol?! Was he really such a naive child? He took a shaky breath, feeling everything be ripped out from underneath him. Everything around Ayumi... even their friendship... It was probably ruined, and that hurt worse than anything else. His hand clenched around the key to the point his muscles trembled, a burst of fire roaring in his stomach. He had single-handedly destroyed everything built over four years in one fucking day! "DAMMIT!" he screamed, standing and throwing the key on an impulse at the wall.


	7. Chapter 7

The wedding had been a complete success... for the most part. There had been a couple little hitches at the last moment, but they were all taken care of. Satoshi felt filled to the brim in happiness as he finally got to call Naomi his wife. They were prepared and ready to continue on with life together, forever. During the flurry of everything that happened, he didn't notice the estrangement of his two friends. It wasn't until Naomi asked him if he knew what happened that he began to take notice. The two could barely stand to make eye contact, let alone have a single conversation. Which was... really weird. After all, even though they knew some of their families and friends, the two would have most to talk about with each other.

The after party was crazy, having to say hi and catch up with everyone. Lots of congrats and kind words. Still, Satoshi was relieved when he finally was able to break away. He sat down at the table Yoshiki was at, his expression turning concerned. "Hey, Yoshiki..." he said, figuring he'd be blunt and just ask. After all, he wouldn't be surprised if someone yelled him away moments later. "Is everything okay between you and Ayumi?"

Yoshiki had been happy for his friends, of course. But with all that happened, how long he hadn't been able to talk to Ayumi, and all this love in the air was making it hard to get out a true smile... So he had been fake-smiling practically the whole day. He was actually glad Satoshi didn't have the time to talk, because he didn't want him to see him in such pitiful condition. He kept thinking maybe the separation was best, that maybe these stupid, painful feelings would go away, but it only got worse... The pain, that is. Even after over half year, he couldn't stop with someone new... And now he had even lost the first person that had supported him, which only left him with two other crutches that weren't as strong as the third, now broken.

He flinched slightly at Satoshi's voice, not even having noticed him sit down near him. He looked up with slightly dulled eyes, but at the question he just gave Satoshi that fake smile he had been using all afternoon. "It's fine... Besides, today's your day. You shouldn't be worrying about anyone else but yourself and Nakashima," he told him, taking a large drink of whatever they had been serving. He didn't even know... He had just grabbed something to occupy his attention.

Satoshi's brow furrowed in concern, seeing Yoshiki was pretty worse for the wear. Had he really not noticed before? Ah, he had been so involved with the wedding, he had let his friends well being fall to the side of his mind. And the smile he was wearing was so fake, Satoshi couldn't believe he hadn't noticed sooner that something was wrong. "I've been all about Naomi and myself for a while now. I'll be okay taking a bit of a break," Satoshi assured him with a small smile. "So, really, what happened?" he asked again in a more forceful tone. Even if Yoshiki had said 'it's fine,' it certainly didn't sound it.

Yoshiki looked down at his cup, his attempt to even try and pretend he was in a good mood was abandoned. He sloshed the liquid around for a moment, not finding it was a story he particularly wanted to disclose... A story best told vague, because Satoshi probably wouldn't let him off the hook with a simple 'it's fine' or 'nothing happened'. "Just... I did something stupid, and I'm paying for it...," he answered solemnly, adding a small, empty laugh at the end.

Satoshi was glad Yoshiki was talking a bit more, but what he said was so vague. Something stupid could be anything. Though, he was getting the feeling Yoshiki didn't want to tell him specifics... which meant it could be private between him and Ayumi. The empty laugh just made him worry that something very bad was happening. "You two... are still friends, though, right?" Satoshi asked. Friends got in fights... the two would be able to work it out, he hoped. It didn't seem right for any of the group to become detached from one another. "This is just a rough patch?"

Yoshiki glanced up at Satoshi with uncertainty. His own hope was sapped out, he practically felt dead... So... He wasn't sure what to tell Satoshi... The only thing he could say in confidence was... no... "Honestly, I don't know... A wild guess says no...," he admitted as his eyes trailed back to the swirling liquid. He didn't feel like believing anything or having hope when it came to him and Ayumi, not anymore. It had got him into too much trouble, and too much hurt.

Satoshi felt his heart jerk in alarm as he was informed the two were no longer friends. He was thrown off, since the very idea of the two cutting off communications seemed wrong on every level. They had been through so much together... how could they just throw it away? "Then... how are you going to get back to being friends?" he then asked, trying to calm himself down. Surely Yoshiki wasn't just going to sit back and accept... well, it was hard to know what caused the split. All he knew they weren't friends... but whatever the reason may be, the two couldn't throw each other away.

Yoshiki didn't look up, his eyes still poised towards the table and his drink. Satoshi was asking him as if he even had a clue, or if there even was a chance of repairing things... If there was, he couldn't see it... "Hell if I know...," he muttered, growing more bitter as the conversation went on, "I doubt there's even a way to fix what I did..."

"I don't know what happened between the two of you..." Satoshi began to say, unable to make-up a case scenario in his head. "But if you haven't talked to her, I would say start there." If they never talked, they would never work through whatever they are going through. It sounded like the relationship couldn't take a worse turn, so simply talking may just let the gates open back up.

Yoshiki shook his head, downing the last of his drink. It stung going down his throat, but he hardly paid any mind to it. "Don't you think I would have if I could?" he asked somewhat sharply, but then retracted it, knowing he didn't need to be agitated with Satoshi. He was only trying to help... and it was his own decision that his friend didn't know how messed up this really was. "Sorry... It's just... I got into something stupid, then said something even worse, so... I can't talk to her...," he attempted to explain in a more calm demeanor. It sounded like he had insulted Ayumi or something, but it couldn't be more the opposite... He didn't want to go into details with that either, though... It would only lead to more questions, ones that couldn't be answered without the full story, which would never be told. It was... something that couldn't be anything but personal.

Satoshi flinched slightly at Yoshiki's sharp tone, not taking personal offense to it but unnerved either way. He frowned slightly, still unsure exactly what they could have gotten into. Or what Yoshiki would have said that would be bad to have the two cut off from one another. "If you two are at such a bad place, then what worse could happen from trying to talk to her?" he questioned with a light frown. Talking was the only way the two could get to a better place... if they were already not friends... well, it couldn't go any worse.

Yoshiki just gave a heavy sigh, really wanting a refresh on his drink, but found it would probably be too rude to just get up and walk away... Despite how much he wanted to. "Nothing better could come from whatever I have to say... Besides, I don't even know where we stand... I only assume we're not friends because it's been... five months? Maybe more... There's still a chance I could make it worse, and I'm not willing to take it," he explained adamantly, finally putting down the cup and refraining from fidgeting with it any longer.

Satoshi watched Yoshiki fidgeting with the cup, hoping he wasn't trying to drown what he was feeling in alcohol. He felt another alarm bell go off in his head as he mentioned the amount of time they have been apart. He's... really not noticed it? Shame burned his ears and cheeks as he realized how self-involved he had been in the past months. "You don't know if something better could happen if you try. And what would happen if it got worse, you two won't talk anymore? You two have known each other too long and have been through too much to just throw it away. Are you so willing to give up without a fight?" he questioned with narrowed eyes. Yoshiki couldn't be willing to quit so easily... it wasn't like him.

"There's no fight to give up in," Yoshiki snapped, but then bit back his anger again, looking away with shame. He was getting much too frustrated with this... Maybe the alcohol was affecting him quicker than usual? He didn't really know... He could just be a ticking time bomb with all this rot inside. "... I can't say anything to fix this... I can't start a 'talk'...," he said persistently, shaking his head.

Satoshi sighed, shaking his head at Yoshiki. "No, you _can_ start a talk," he challenged, not letting Yoshiki's unusual snappiness persuade him from believing the two could find peace. "You mean you _won't_." He stood out of his chair, knowing he had to get back to everything. "I have to get back, but don't go giving up hope. She's right here... You're not out of chances," Satoshi told him with a stern look. He heard someone call his name, giving Yoshiki one last concerned look before disappearing back into the crowd.

Yoshiki gave Satoshi a small glare, but he really didn't like directing his irritation towards his best friend, especially on his wedding day. He sighed, turning in his seat. "No... Hope's what got me here...," he muttered, glancing down into the empty cup. He picked it up, wanting to just crush it or something, but he couldn't let his bad mood leak too much that it was obvious to everyone around... As if it wasn't obvious with him sitting alone and his painfully obvious fake smiles... He slid a hand through his hair nervously, standing to get another drink. He didn't want to talk... He couldn't change anything... After all, he was the reason this happened. Now it would just be too difficult for a friendship to come back. After all, now she knew... that he loved her, and she didn't feel the same... It couldn't be remedied... He could think no other way after all this turmoil. His heart didn't trust hope anymore.

* * *

Ayumi was grateful when she was finally able to slip away out into the hallway. She sat down on the bench, hissing a small curse under her breath as she adjusted her heel. Her feet were killing her, the heel's she was trying to wear were just too tall. She leaned back, blinking tiredly. It was weird how much she was stressing herself out avoiding Yoshiki, yet she took every spare moment in an attempt to find him with her eyes. God, it has been about half a year since they've stopped talking. It felt longer than that... She had never realized the impact Yoshiki made on her life until... well, until he wasn't in it anymore.

The months had ticked by slowly, and she had tried to date. She had been positive her feelings with Yoshiki that night were a fluke triggered by long exposure to each another and a lot of alcohol. Too bad every date she went on never ended up clicking. She had gone out with some very nice young men, who were kind and smart but she didn't feel anything towards them past friendship. Ayumi had found herself staring at her phone, debating if she should call or text him. Yet, it wouldn't be right for her to thrust herself back into his life. He probably hated her at this point for jerking him around so much. She didn't like him, then she did, then she didn't, and now she certainly does.

Yoshiki sort of felt like going home at this point... He never really got drunk, so he couldn't fully hide from his hurt. That's how it always had been, these past months. He'd down drinks within an hour or so, but he wouldn't be able to get to the point he wanted to... Though, this was his best friend's wedding, he couldn't leave until it was totally finished... He could slip away for a minute though, right?... Satoshi was busy, so he probably wouldn't even notice... He was probably also upset with him because he had never talked to Ayumi through the course of the night. He moved into the hall with a sigh, thankful he hadn't been stopped by anyone, but he paused as he looked forward. Of all places, Ayumi was here... He couldn't really turn tail and leave, since he... wanted to see Ayumi, but he was somewhat frozen in fear. She didn't want to see him... But he couldn't turn away... He was almost like a deer caught in headlights.

Ayumi was letting herself zone out when she heard footsteps. It was easy to assume it was any party goer heading towards the restrooms or just leaving the party, but she found it reactionary to look. Her expression mirrored his, surprise jolting her by his sudden appearance. She hadn't seen him in so long. Not even a glimpse, since it wasn't like they ran in the same circles. Despite campus and his apartment being moderately close, they just never crossed paths. There was a part of her that just wanted to run, because she was ashamed of how she had acted and treated him. She had just left... no words, no conversations, not even a damn written note. But, she had ran before and regretted it, so she should at least try with this moment. After this wedding... she didn't know why the two would ever see each other again. It made her stomach uneasy. "Kishinuma..." she greeted with a small, polite smile. It felt forced, but just keeping her entire composure was being forced."How have you been?" It was a generic, safe question, at least she believed so. She didn't know what else to say... 'Hey, sorry about ditching you the morning after pledging my undying devotion'? No, she was too scared to even approach that or the entire issues surrounding what has happened. She was sticking to safe questions... He'll be polite, answer... and he'll just move on.

Yoshiki still felt pretty frozen, but then Ayumi talked. She... actually spoke. He blinked at her, trying to find the ground to act normally. He took a quiet breath before moving his hands into his pockets, stepping close enough to actually have a normal conversation. "Ah... fine, I guess...," he answered, fighting to keep eye contact instead of glancing away. He would've put on another fake smile, but he didn't really see the point of it if it could be seen through so easily."What about you?" he asked, stretching the generic conversation. He didn't want to leave... He want to make this last as long as it could.

Ayumi felt herself calm down a little as he spoke normally back. Honestly, she had always envisioned her next meeting with Yoshiki to have a lot of yelling or something. He had to be angry how she left it, but he didn't seem hostile at all. "I've been okay...," she answered simply, finding herself hard-pressed into fluffing the answer up. There wasn't much to say... she got a job for the summer and is staying at her parent's again until the new term starts up. His short answer made her reluctant to try going for another generic topic, since he probably didn't want to get wrapped in conversation. Yet... he had come closer and didn't seem fidgety to get away. She didn't know what the right course of action was.

Yoshiki nodded sightly at her answer, finally unable to keep from glancing away for a second. He quickly corrected himself though, worried that their conversation was dead. She probably didn't want a full blown discussion about everything... But he was terrified that this was the last time he'd ever get to talk to Ayumi. That jolt to his heart made him feel incredibly pressed to... try and at least fix what they had before... To be close friends. "Shinozaki... I really don't like this...," he started, finding his need for her outweighed his fear, "I... miss being friends..."

Ayumi looked at him in alarm as he began to speak again. Her chest feeling tight at his words. She wanted to tell him how much she missed him, but... she had to stop being so selfish. "How... could you still want me in your life after everything I've done?" she asked him in a hushed voice. She couldn't look at him anymore, her eyes drifted down to her hands folded in her lap. She had a lot of time to think when they separated, and she eventually came to the conclusion... she has been a very terrible friend to Yoshiki. To manipulate his emotions to sleep with her, to keep tugging him along despite knowing he already felt more, and even back as far as Heavenly Host. She had always been sharp and rude to him. He'd be better off detaching from her and finding someone who could treat him right. Even just being friends... it felt wrong to inject herself back into his life.

Yoshiki fell silent at her question, unsure of the right way to answer. He knew he did... but putting it into words was difficult. "I guess it's the same reason that I... Ah, anyways... You're... the reason I'm were I am, and the reason I have what I have," he said vaguely at first, still unsure of how to voice his feelings. It was something that had puzzled him for years... After all this time, he didn't have a speech prepared like he would've liked, but even if he had put something together before now, he would've taken four more years to get the courage to say it, if he mustered it at all. "I mean... when you believed in me when no one else would... You even thought that I could make it in college, and I have... because of your support," he attempted to elaborate, but wasn't certain he was doing a good job. He glanced towards the wall, finding it impossible to keep looking at her, especially when she was avoiding his eyes.

Ayumi would occasionally glance up at him, but it was too hard to keep any type of eye contact. She couldn't find any comfort in his words... after all, sure she may have been the first to tell him to fly straight, but he had Naomi and Satoshi now."But my support doesn't even compare to how cruel I've been to you," she said slowly and carefully. She didn't want her emotions making her fly off the handle. "Maybe I was necessary during those times, but you've found your footing. You'd be better off just letting these ties stayed cut," she told him frankly, her voice threatening to tighten but she fought it away. She didn't want them to never talk or see each other again, but it felt like the only thing she could do. She was glad her words had impact on him, but she had a feeling her abandonment of him left a much greater one.

Yoshiki glanced at her, a little disheartened that Ayumi was sounding like she didn't want to be friends anymore... He guessed he could see where the guilt was coming from, but she was a good friend. He had always really enjoyed her company... The good times far outweighed the bad, especially now that she was torturing herself for stuff she did in the past. Yeah, a part of him was always bitter, but he knew better than to blame her. Her true personality wasn't how she pictured herself... "That's not true... I still need you... and I still want you in my life. You are a good friend, you're just torturing yourself over what happened... Really, it's my fault too. This whole mess couldn't be created by just one person... Technically... I was using you to indulge my own desires that were otherwise impossible to fulfill. And then... I got sucked into being so convinced by the stuff you said when you were drunk... It was stupid, and it put you on the spot," he said somewhat urgently, not wanting their ties to be cut at all, "I don't want our ties to be cut... Isn't that the important part? That I don't want separation?"

Ayumi's eyes slowly drifted up to look at him as he spoke. She was conflicted on what to say, there was so much. She didn't want the separation either... so, should that be it? But, what he said just wasn't sitting right with her. Yes, it took two, but the idea he used her was ridiculous. "You never used me, Kishinuma. I was the one who initiated that and made it become what it did. And..." Her hand grasped over the other tightly. "I knew how you felt before getting into it... or rather, I had an idea. I manipulated you. Of course you were going to be sucked into what I was doing and saying. I should have backed off after that first night when I realized... but I didn't." She felt disgusted with herself. He claimed he used her, but he's never done anything of the sort.

"And I knew you didn't feel the same way. I knew what I was getting into. Feelings or not, I'm still responsible for agreeing to the whole thing," Yoshiki insisted, not liking how his choice was being overwritten just because he liked her. Yeah, it did fog his judgement... But he let that happen. It was his own fault, and he wouldn't let her shoulder his choice as well as her own. It wasn't fair, and didn't match up with how he thought. He was responsible for everything he did and said... He had known the whole time she didn't like him back, until that stupid drunken night. No one but him would take ownership of his actions.

Ayumi couldn't help but feel she had forced him into those choices. She just felt like she had a power over Yoshiki that she had abused, but she guess she may be giving herself too much credit. She still had a hard time believing he wasn't angry at her or just wanted her to stay out of his life. He wanted her back, after she had abandoned him. "Kishinuma... I don't feel like I deserve you," she said, because she had no other argument than how she felt. Yes, they were two adults who agreed to a certain type of relationship, but she was the one who crossed all the lines. She had broken most the rules she had created...

Yoshiki waited for her answer, but was only met with a new road block. She had been avoiding him all this time because she felt ashamed... He guessed he could relate... but she shouldn't be running herself in the mud. When she spoke again, he frowned, glancing up to meet her eyes again. "This isn't about 'deserving'...," he told her, his look growing more solemn than irritated, "I was a misfit who didn't even have faith in myself. I wasn't even looking for help, because I thought like everyone else did. I was ready to break Tsubota's nose before you came. So... I'd say I didn't deserve you in the first place... But... you still helped me, right? You told me I could make it past high school, and then later college... I'm still a pathetic delinquent that doesn't deserve help... but that doesn't matter, as long as someone cares enough to help... Deserving doesn't matter. Deserving is based on the past, and that's not important anymore..."

Ayumi stared at Yoshiki in disbelief, unsure if she followed his logic correctly. He was so willing to just forget everything that went on between them, at least, that's how it sounded to her. Maybe the concept of 'deserving' someone was inherently flawed. She let out a shaky breath, shaking her head lightly at him. "I really... don't understand you," she frowned, her eyes narrowed. She never understood him. Yoshiki was an enigma to her. No matter how poorly she treated him, he kept coming back. "I never have, and I don't think I ever will." Anyone else would have bailed by now. He had to be completely nuts to still want anything to do with her. Keitaro knew to bail when her nasty side started to show up, yet Yoshiki doesn't even care what she's done. He just wants them to have some sort of relationship again.

Yoshiki stared at her, at first he didn't know how to respond. Well... he guessed he wasn't all that easy to understand... Especially when he could clearly vocalize how he felt... But, it was another detail he didn't care about. "Maybe not... But do you really have to?" he asked with a small shrug, still trying to get her to say they could at least be friends again. He didn't like being apart from her... It was killing his spirit.

Ayumi felt nervous, her stomach fluttering as they made eye contact. She couldn't believe they've lost half a year... though, she wasn't sure how she would keep up a friendship so well with these new feelings. "I suppose not," she agreed lightly. She wasn't sure if anybody could really understand another person fully. "But..." she mumbled, looking aside as her cheeks warmed, "I would like to." It felt embarrassing to say, but she didn't think it was overly revealing... Well, she didn't know how he'd interpret her. All she knew was, if Yoshiki was so willing to let her back into his life, she would take the chance.

Yoshiki smiled softly as she seemed give up her ridiculous idea of deserving. So... were they friends again? Neither one held any ill will towards the other... so he didn't see why not... His mood was already heightened immensely, his smiles no longer fake or forced. But as her head turned and she spoke again, his mind stalled. He thought he saw red on her cheeks, too... No!... No, that stupid hope is what started all this. He'd just take it as a verbal confirmation that their relationship was fixed. "Mm, me too... At least, know you better," he replied, not really believing that he could fully understand anyone, especially Ayumi.

Ayumi looked up at him with a soft smile, feeling a weight finally lift off of her from the past half year. She was beginning to wish they had spoken sooner... but the time had probably been good for her. Because, she figured something out. She suddenly felt conflicted, unsure if she should even force this ruse. She's never felt so strongly for anyone before... Not her schoolgirl crush on Satoshi or long-standing relationship with Keitaro even compared to what he could do to her heart. Her smile flickered away, a solemn expression taking its place. Did he even feel the same way anymore? "If we're going to rekindle our friendship... we should be honest with each another, right?" she suddenly questioned. Though, the honesty could destroy the little progress they made... No, no matter the outcome, they'd still find a way to be in other's lives. As friends or lovers, she wasn't sure, but she knew they wouldn't allow distance to form again.

Yoshiki instantly became alert at her switch of expression, his own smile flickering away with concern. As she finally spoke, his brow furrowed lightly. He didn't know what she would have to share... But, if she wanted to tell him, she could. "I guess... if you want... I mean, friends can have secrets, but if you want to say something I'll listen," he told her, a little confused. But, now that they were okay again, his demeanor was more normal and his tone was more relaxed. He felt as if the last half year had just been a bad dream... And that's all he could see it as. He couldn't let the past weigh him down.

Ayumi was amazed at how easily Yoshiki slid back into how they had been. It felt like he had hardly changed in their lost time, which was a great relief. Maybe that meant his past feelings for her were still in tact. She nodded slightly, trying to muster the strength and courage to just confess. Even if she could keep it a secret, she didn't want to. "I didn't lie to you that night," she said, looking at him with a controlled expression. She knew she didn't have to specify anything... That night where they confessed and just laid together in bed in blissful warmth. The night before she ran away. Even though she didn't realize her drunken words were the truth at the time, she slowly came to the conclusion that she was being dishonest to herself to deny what had happened.

Yoshiki fell silent, at a loss for words. He could even hardly think. She... didn't lie?... Meaning... they weren't just empty words, that it wasn't just because she was drunk? He would be cautious, but nothing about her demeanor told him she was drunk now, and... she would never joke about this. But he didn't know how to respond... He had that fluttering feeling still, and his heart was excited at the confession, but his mind had been pulled through a lot of corkscrews. After a moment of thought, he took a small, quiet breath to still his heart. "R... Really?" he stuttered out. It wasn't that he doubted her... but then he noticed it sounded like it, and how huge an insult it was. He... just didn't know what to say... He was stuck. "I mean... I...," he mumbled, feeling increasingly nervous, "I didn't... either..."

Ayumi flinched lightly as he questioned her, but he quickly began mumbling and stumbling over his words, so she took it that she took him off guard. She couldn't blame him for the less than articulate response. After all, how she had left, he probably thought what she had said had been the words of the alcohol. She stood off the bench, smiling shyly as she realized she didn't know what to say or do past that. Though, she had to note to herself that a nervous Yoshiki was very cute. "I never thought you did," Ayumi admitted. Yoshiki had been sincere that night. Even with the drunken haziness surrounding the memory, she knew he had been honest with her.

Yoshiki smiled nervously at her, but was unsure of a next step. All of what happened made this so complicated... He knew he wanted to be with her still, though... After all, if her drunk-self had been telling the truth, then all that warmth and happiness wasn't a lie either. Ayumi must have just been panicked... and now she knew how she really felt? It would be a nice change... from his life of being alone. "So... what now?" he asked, since he had no idea what the next step to take was. He was still nervous and awkward, making him fidget a little with his hands in his pockets. After all, he was still new to actual love, so it was easy for his cheeks to warm.

Ayumi felt a similar nervousness, since the relationship has developed... well, oddly. Their first step had been sleeping together, so the progress felt a little off already. Plus, they were jumping into the relationship already in love and already close friends. "Well, uh," she mumbled lightly. Her one hand kept twirling at the ring on her other hand to try and rid herself of some jittery energy. "I guess... maybe we could go on a date?" she suggested with a flushed face. It felt a little weird to suggest, but at the same time, that would be the best place to start, right? She wasn't sure where they should pick up, but honestly whatever they chose to do would be fine with her. Whether they fell back to living together or just started off with a clean slate, she was just glad to be back with Yoshiki.

Yoshiki looked at her, then looked away shyly. "Uh, I guess... But... ahh... Do you... want to move back in?" he asked bluntly, but his eyes were toward the ground, and his foot couldn't help but tap nervously against the ground, "I... still have that key... I-if you're interested..."Their relationship was already all over the place... They could technically start anywhere, and it wouldn't be any weirder than what they've already escalated to. Plus, he didn't mean to jump to sex again... He sort of wanted to hold off on that, but he really liked her company...

Ayumi looked at him curiously, unused to seeing Yoshiki act so shyly. Her eyes widened at his sudden offer, her heart jumping into her throat. While the idea had passed her mind, she hadn't expected him to offer it so quickly. She had enjoyed living with him... it seemed like a better place for them to start than a simple little date, given their feelings for each other. She was just surprised he was willing to share his home with her so quickly, since her previous stay had only been planned as a temporary thing. Either way, no matter the details that jumped around her mind, she found herself very much wanting to do it. She smiled at him, beaming at the idea. "Yes, I'm definitely interested," she told him genuinely, on board with the idea completely.

Yoshiki raised his head at her answer, unable to hold back a smile. He gave a small, nervous life, but was ultimately happy. "Great...," he muttered with a soft smile, then glanced back down the hallway. He then remembered they were technically there for their friends, but here they were worrying all about themselves on their big day... Most would probably call it rude, but he knew Satoshi would've killed him had he not resolved everything with Ayumi. He turned back to Ayumi, stepping closer and grabbing her hand. "C'mon... Today's not our day, now is it?" he asked with a raised brow.

Ayumi felt her entire body react to the simple gesture of holding hands. She smiled at him, her stomach fluttering making her giddy. "It isn't...," she agreed. Now that he was closer, she leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips. She pulled back and smiled at him lovingly. "Our day will come later," she said softly. If he hadn't just asked her to move in, that might have been quickly overstepping a boundary... but, it didn't feel misplaced to say. It felt like a fact that they'd end up here.


End file.
